Question

Dear father Angelo,

after many years of a long-distance love relationship (I am Italian and she was German) last December we finally  managed to buy our house where  we would have lived together. We had a lot of projects on how to arrange the furniture, the flowers and above all the space for the animals she loved so much.

Everything was ready, we bought lots of stuff at the flea markets during the years, our desire was to live peacefully and to enjoy our life together.

We had no big expectations, just to enjoy some walks together,  to start a non-profit association in the name of my sister who recently died of leukemia. She (my girlfriend Nd) was going to take care of the administrative procedures. In the meantime, she was dedicated to embroidering in order to embellish the house with her works .

We met each other when she was 44 and we had to put aside the dream of having a child together, especially because of the work in different states.

Everything was ready for the civil and religious marriage, we had set the dates and after less than 20 days of living in the new house we discovered her incurable tumor.. 

Obviously I dedicated myself completely to her by staying in the hospital every day and above all  through home -care with lots of suffering and non self-sufficiency.

My wife passed away after she told me “I can’t take it anymore”.

I lost my parents, sister and wife from cancer.

Sometimes I think the Lord wants to teach me not to enjoy material things, but I think it’s  too selfish  a talk.

There remains the anger of not having been able to make our dreams come true in our home, but if the Lord wanted to call her back, I will have to accept His Will.

I pray every day so that she can  enjoy eternal light  by remaining in Purgatory as little as possible  and soon access the Lord’s banquet.

A severe test awaits me, because without her our life made up of many sacrifices and sufferings together seems to have no meaning anymore.

What should I do?


Answer

Dear friend,

1.         First of all I offer you my condolences for a death that has deprived you of a considerable portion of your life.

2.     Probably the disease would have arisen in your wife even if you had not arrived at the wedding.

If this is the case, as I believe, we must equally thank the Lord  because He gave her the human satisfaction of reaching a goal that she had so desired.

And in this respect it is a grace for you too because she will be happy forever to have been your bride.

3.     Now she has been called to another wedding, whose human weddings are just a sign and a permanent reminder, the wedding with our Lord.

4.     Since you got married you have become one thing: everything that was yours was hers, and what was hers was also yours.

Now the same thing happens with Our Lord. Everything that belongs to Jesus becomes hers.

And she can share it with you, who have been her earthly spouse.

5.     You ask me how you can behave, what you can do.

Keep praying a lot for her.

And not just for the right reasons related to suffrage and purification.

But also and above all to revive your communion with her in Christ.

When you pray, she is in front of you and enters your life again.

Now this communion is understood as perfect, without the shadows and without the inevitable misunderstandings linked to the present life

Fatti donare da lei che adesso attinge direttamente al cuore di Cristo tutto ciò di cui hai bisogno. Let her, who now draws everything directly from the Heart of Christ,  give you what you truly need.

And first of all a deeper knowledge of Jesus.

6.     If you see it in this way, the death of your wife is not an irreparable misfortune.

Your affection continues and progresses along a new path.

With your prayers and with your suffrages, you obtain an ever greater glory for her in Heaven.

Many of our visitors would say: bring her an accidental glory ever greater because the essential one can no longer increase.

Yes, that’s right, but accidental glory is also a great good.

And she unceasingly obtains for you an ever wider possession of the Lord, as a pledge and anticipation of the eternal possession of God.

I wish you to always progress like this, I bless you and remind you to the Lord.

Father Angelo


Translated by : Martina Bimbi

Verified by: Simona Filippi 

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