Dear father Angelo,

I would like to thank you for the service you give us daily with your work: it is an act of real charity. 

I have three questions for you: even brief answers are good, and I wouldn’t be offended if you chose to answer even just one, if the other two seem irrelevant to you. You can publish the answer whenever you want. If you decided not to answer me because you’re too busy, I would nonetheless ask you for a prayer, so that the Holy Spirit might enlighten me about these questions.

1) I have a difficult relationship with my in-laws; sadly they’re not good people, or rather, they would want to be good people, but they’re victims of a social tragedy. They come from a nation that once was communist, and that vision of the world distorted their vision of the world, and all its defects can be seen in them. I would like to say one thing to all the people who sympathize for communism: you should experience the human and moral tragedy of those who grew up in that wicked system, a tragedy that falls upon future generations. They caused many problems to their sons: they weren’t good guides for them (even though I think they’ve done their best), and initially  they created many problems for me and my husband. I don’t know if they will change. I’m pretty sure I’ve forgiven them; I’ve also given due weight to their faults and to our responsibilities, sincerely and totally.

I pray a lot for my husband’s grandmothers; especially for the mother of his father: she was almost illiterate but nonetheless was able to hold on to her orthodox faith through the tragedy of communism, and she transmitted the seed of faith not to her children, but to her grandchildren. However, for the moment the only solution to avoid their interferences is to keep them as far as possible from us, to the point that it’s almost two and a half years that we don’t see them in person (the pandemic and the fact that we live abroad played a role in this, but once there was an occasion to meet and we intentionally missed it because my husband didn’t want to face them). In the meantime we had another child, and they haven’t met him yet. What should my role as a wife be, in this particular situation? Until now I let my husband manage this situation, and these are the results. 

In the past they’ve interfered heavily in his life and working career, even if at a distance (my husband has studied and has been working abroad since ten years ago); they manipulated his feelings in many ways: they made him feel guilty, inadequate and wrong. On the professional level, his career took off only after he freed himself from this yoke. However, many years have passed and now I see them old and lonely rather than dangerous, both their children abroad as they’re imprisoned in a country without an economic and social future.

2) Are there any saints that you would recommend  to the parents of school-age children, to make them understand the beauty of a pure and chaste life? I would like to start a journey discovering the lives of the saints with my sons. I gave them the names of some saints who found in chastity and purity their badge of honor (Saint Clare and Saint Joseph), but it would be great to have other examples that could resonate more with the life of today’s youth.

3) In Germany all taxpayers who are also baptized must pay the kirchensteuer, an addition of approximately 9% of their gross income tax that goes to the Catholic Church of Germany. However, the problems of the Church in Germany are many and whoever tries to live his faith seriously is constantly fighting with many perversions (priest blessing homosexual couples, for one thing). Many people have formally decided to stop being part of the Catholic Church (we improperly say they get unbaptized). Many feel abandoned by this Church that is so absent and self-referential, but I think that the motive behind all this can also be of venial nature, namely not wanting to pay the tax. I would never leave the Church, even if it was temporarily governed by the Antichrist. However, this tax raises some concerns that are amplified by this contrast in the Church of Germany, materially rich and spiritually poor. I despair but then I think that figures such as Ratzinger grew in this Church: therefore not everything is lost. What’s your opinion on this matter?

I thank you and assure you my prayers.
Grazia Maria (name dedicated to Santa Maria delle Grazie)

The answer from father Angelo

My dear,

1. I’ll follow your instructions: I will be brief in my answers to all these problems that are so close to you. First of all, let me start from the consequences of atheism for the populations that were dominated by communist bolshevism. Saint John Paul II wrote about it in the encyclical Centesimus annus, published for the hundredth anniversary of Rerum Novarum (the encyclical about social doctrine of the church, written by pope Leo XIII) in 1991, two years after the downfall of communism in eastern Europe. In his words: “the spiritual void brought about by atheism, which deprived the younger generations of a sense of direction” (CA 24). Many people filled this void in many ways with a devastating effect both physically and psychologically. However, the pope goes on, all this “in many cases led them, in the irrepressible search for personal identity and for the meaning of life, to rediscover the religious roots of their national cultures, and to rediscover the person of Christ himself as the existentially adequate response to the desire in every human heart for goodness, truth and life. This search was supported by the witness of those who, in difficult circumstances and under persecution, remained faithful to God. Marxism had promised to uproot the need for God from the human heart, but the results have shown that it is not possible to succeed in this without throwing the heart into turmoil” (CA 24).

2. For the kids, and indirectly for their parents, I suggest you to propose the beautiful example of Saint Therese of Lisieux and her parents. Every evening their father used to read to his daughters a brief history of the saint of the next day, followed by a practical task for the following day. Given that the life of the saint is the Gospel put into practice, their father was placing at the center of his family life Jesus and his Gospel, as it was lived through the testimony of the saints. Back then there was no television. The life of the saints was the novelty that characterized the day and this surely inclined all the family members to live more beautifully the christian life. That’s how sanctity bloomed in that family. I’ve read that there was a similar tradition in the family of Saint Faustina Kowalska. Her parents were poor, but not so poor that they couldn’t afford the reading of religious books or magazines. Some centuries before the father of Saint Therese of Avila used to spread around the house many religious texts and lives of the saints, so that his sons could find in them spiritual nourishment and an atmosphere of faith.

3. Sadly, there’s truth in what you write about Germany. I’ve read that some founding fathers said this about their congregations: “when our congregation will become rich, then you can write the word END to it”. The basis for the flourishing of their churches was the poverty of the Gospel. That’s where the medieval Church blossomed from: the poverty of the Gospel, lived in exemplary fashion both by Saint Francis and his friars and by Saint Dominic and his brethren. Regarding the latter, here is what Saint Catherine of Siena was told by the Eternal Father: “Now look at the ship of your father Dominic, My beloved son: he ordered it most perfectly, wishing that his sons should apply themselves only to My honor and the salvation of souls, with the light of science, which light he laid as his principal foundation, not, however, on that account, being deprived of true and voluntary poverty, but having it also. And as a sign that he had it truly, and that the contrary displeased him, he left as an heirloom to his sons his curse and Mine, if they should hold any possessions, either privately or in community, as a sign that he had chosen for his spouse Queen Poverty” (The dialogue of Divine Providence, 158).

Wishing to your family every spiritual good, I bless you all and will remember you in my prayers.

Father Angelo

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