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Good afternoon,

My name is Chiara and I have been married for a few months. 

I am writing to you because I have had two miscarriages, and we are suffering greatly. I think that I cannot find peace because surely they are children in heaven, but having lost them after just a few weeks, I could not have a funeral for them. It’s as if I haven’t given them a Christian identity. Can you help me?

There is much confusion on this subject because some tell me they are not children because they were only a few weeks old, while others say they were just a clump of blood. I need clarity and to be able to do something for them.

Thank you.

Answer from the priest

Dear Chiara,

1. From a scientific point of view, there is unanimous consensus that a new human being begins to exist from the moment of conception, with its own DNA, which has never existed before and never will again. Even simply from a phenomenological standpoint, each of us can say, looking back at our lives, that we began to exist at a specific moment, that of conception. Each of us can say: “that was me,” even if we had absolutely no consciousness of existing.

2. According to the Church’s teaching, the creation of the soul by God occurs at the moment of conception. Pope John XXIII in the encyclical Mater et Magistra stated: “Human life is sacred—all men must recognize that fact. From its very inception it reveals the creating hand of God. Those who violate His laws not only offend the divine majesty and degrade themselves and humanity, they also sap the vitality of the political community of which they are members.” (MM, 194). He did not explicitly say it is created from the moment of conception, but he said something equivalent: “from its very inception.” Now, as science recognizes, the product of conception is not a clump of blood but has DNA distinct from that of the mother. It is a new human being.

3. The Second Vatican Council also addressed this issue, stating: “For God, the Lord of life, has conferred on men the surpassing ministry of safeguarding life in a manner which is worthy of man. Therefore from the moment of its conception life must be guarded with the greatest care while abortion and infanticide are unspeakable crimes.” (Gaudium et Spes, 51). Evidently, it does not speak of spontaneous abortion, which is suffered by the mother, but of procured or voluntary abortion.

4. The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, in a declaration on procured abortion (November 18, 1974), states: “In reality, respect for human life is called for from the time that the process of generation begins. From the time that the ovum is fertilized, a life is begun which is neither that of the father nor of the mother, it is rather the life of a new human being with his own growth. It would never be made human if it were not human already.” (n. 12).

5. Furthermore, the same document specifies: “Modern genetic science brings valuable confirmation. It has demonstrated that, from the first instant, there is established the program of what this living being will be: a man, this individual man with his characteristic aspects already well determined. Right from fertilization is begun the adventure of a human life, and each of its capacities requires time- a rather lengthy time- to find its place and to be in a position to act. The least that can be said is that present science, in its most evolved state, does not give any substantial support to those who defend abortion. Moreover, it is not up to biological sciences to make a definitive judgment on questions which are properly philosophical and moral such as the moment when a human person is constituted or the legitimacy of abortion. From a moral point of view this is certain: even if a doubt existed concerning whether the fruit of conception is already a human person, it is objectively a grave sin to dare to risk murder.” (n. 13).

6. The same Congregation, under Pope John Paul II, reiterated in the Instruction *Donum Vitae* (February 22, 1987): “The human being must be respected – as a person – from the very first instant of his existence; from that same moment his rights as a person must be recognized, among which in the first place is the inviolable right of every innocent human being to life.” (DV I,1).

7. Under Pope Benedict XVI, a second instruction on this topic, *Dignitas Personae* (September 8, 2008), stated even more clearly: “The dignity of a person must be recognized in every human being from conception to natural death” (DP 1). After stating that “Although the presence of the spiritual soul cannot be observed experimentally”,  it asserts that “the conclusions of science regarding the human embryo give “a valuable indication for discerning by the use of reason a personal presence at the moment of the first appearance of a human life: how could a human individual not be a human person?”” And: “the fruit of human generation, from the first moment of its existence, that is to say, from the moment the zygote has formed, demands the unconditional respect that is morally due to the human being in his bodily and spiritual totality. The human being is to be respected and treated as a person from the moment of conception; and therefore from that same moment his rights as a person must be recognized, among which in the first place is the inviolable right of every innocent human being to life”.

8. In your case, in addition to the grief for the loss of these two children, you also have the sorrow of not having ensured their baptism. However, even on this point, the Church encourages hope. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved (cf. 1 Tim 2:4), and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,” allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.” (CCC 1261).

9. Baptism is certainly the ordinary means of salvation, but God also has other, so-called extraordinary, ways because He wants to give grace to everyone. Therefore, He offers everyone the possibility of salvation, either in an ordinary or extraordinary manner.

With best wishes for your marriage, I bless you and remember you in prayer.

Father Angelo