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Dear Father Angelo,

good morning, I am fascinated, as many others are, by the topic of penance.

During my long path to conversion, I tangibly experienced the presence of the Lord during prayer. I then started to grow a constant desire to be in prayer.

Not being able to shut myself up in a convent, as I have commitments as a wife (of a holy man) and as a doctor, I was able (thanks to the Lord) to find unexpected time and places to fulfill this need.

On this journey I got to study the lives of some saints, in particular St. Teresa of Avila and St. Veronica Giuliani. In their writings I have found clear and satisfying answers to many questions concerning prayer.

My point, however, is the following: regarding St. Veronica, why did she endure sp many corporal penances? She is called the “mystic of suffering.” I understand the connection between suffering and mysticism. I know that at the height of my pain I have met and I am meeting Christ. I accept with joy the tribulations, the misunderstandings, the dangers, the daily crosses, which are many, all for the purpose of the Glory of God.

But (as other readers asked) I cannot understand all the torments to which this woman, Veronica, subjected her body. Still, I understand her joy and love for Jesus and think of her as a sister, but I think this is an important point.

While reading these mystical saints, I often had the perception of finally finding someone who spoke “my language” in a foreign country. However, Veronica’s continuous search for physical suffering, honestly, disturbs me a little. 

Please give me the key to unlock this door of doubt.

Thank you for listening,

Daniela

Priest’s answer

Dear Daniela,

1. the desire for physical suffering, which humanly is incomprehensible, arose in the hearts of these Saints from a great and passionate love for Our Lord. They desired therefore to respond to his love for us with the same intensity and in the same way.

2. Christ loved us by laying down His life for us and surrendering Himself to suffering for the atonement of sins. These Saints had the desire to be able to love Him in the same way.

3. I will mention only two: St. Francis of Assisi and St. Therese of the Child Jesus.

St. Francis, two years before his death (we are in 1224), addressed the Lord as follows: “My Lord Jesus Christ, two graces I beg you to grant me before I die: the first is that in my lifetime I may feel, in my soul and in my body, as far as possible, that sorrow which you, tender Jesus, underwent in the hour of your most bitter passion; the second is that I may feel in my heart, as far as possible, that abundance of love with which you, son of God, were inflamed, so as willingly to undergo such a great passion for us sinners. Amen”

On that day he received, first in history, the stigmata of Our Lord’s passion.

4. We also know that he repeated the following prayer very often: “May the burning and most sweet power of your love, O Lord Jesus Christ, I beseech you, absorb my mind that I may die through love of your love, who were graciously pleased to die through love of my love.” (Absorbeat, quaeso, Domine, mentem meam et cor meum ignita et melliflua vis amoris tui ab omnibus quae in mundo sunt; ut amore amoris tui moriar, qui pro amore amoris mei dignatus es mori.)

5. Let us now turn to St. Therèse of the Child Jesus. Her desire to suffer was a grace received on the occasion of her First Communion.

She writes: “The day after my Communion (…) I felt born within my heart a great desire to suffer, and at the same time the interior assurance that Jesus reserved a great number of crosses for me. I felt myself flooded with consolations so great that I look upon them as one of the greatest graces of my life.

Suffering became my attraction; it had charms about it which ravished me without my understanding them very well. Up until this time, I had suffered without loving suffering, but since this day  I felt a real love for it. I also felt the desire of loving only God, of finding my joy only in Him. Often during my Communions, I repeated these words of the Imitation: “O Jesus, unspeakable sweetness, change all the consolations of this earth into bitterness for me.” This prayer fell from [5]my lips without effort, without constraint; it seemed I repeated it not with my will but like a child who repeats the words a person he loves has inspired in him.” (Story of a Soul, 113).

6. At confirmation he received another grace: the strength to suffer. This is an even greater love in bearing suffering. 

“A short time after my First Communion, I entered upon another retreat for my Confirmation, I was prepared with great care to receive the visit of the Holy Spirit, and I did not understand why greater attention was not paid to the reception of this sacrament of Love. Ordinarily, there was only one day of retreat made for Confirmation, but the Bishop was unable to come on the appointed day and so I had the consolation of having two days of solitude. To distract us our mistress brought us to Mont Cassin and there I gathered very many big daisies for the feast of Corpus Christi. Ah! how happy my soul was! Like the Apostles, I awaited the Holy Spirit’s visit with great happiness in my soul. I rejoiced at the thought of soon being a perfect Christian and especially at that of having eternally on my forehead the mysterious cross the Bishop marks when conferring this sacrament. Finally the happy moment arrived, and I did not experience an impetuous wind at the moment of the Holy Spirit’s descent but rather this light breeze which the prophet Elias heard on Mount Horeb. On that day, I received the strength to suffer, for soon afterward the martyrdom of my soul was about to commence. ” (Ib., 114).

7. On June 9, 1895 at the age of 22, she offered herself to God’s merciful love by accepting every event with a heart full of love so that God would bestow His grace and use mercy on all, especially sinners and set their souls on fire.

She writes: “I was thinking about the souls who offer themselves as victims of God’s Justice in order to turn away the punishments reserved to sinners, drawing them upon themselves. This offering seemed great and very generous to me, but I was far from feeling attracted to making it. From the depths of my heart, I cried out: “O my God! Will Your Justice alone find souls willing to immolate themselves as victims? Does not Your Merciful Love need them too? On every side this love is unknown, rejected; those hearts upon whom You would lavish it turn to creatures, seeking happiness from them with their miserable affection; they do this instead of throwing themselves into Your arms and of accepting Your infinite Love. O my God! Is Your disdained Love going to remain closed up within Your Heart? It seems to me that if You were to find souls offering themselves as victims of holocaust to Your Love, You would consume them rapidly; it seems to me, too, that You would be happy not to hold back the waves of infinite tenderness within You. If Your Justice loves to release itself, this Justice which extends only over the earth, how much more does Your Merciful Love desire to set souls on fire since Your Mercy reaches to the heavens. O my Jesus, let me be this happy victim; consume Your holocaust with the fire of Your Divine Love!” (Ib., 238).

On that day, which she will call happy, it seemed to her that love permeated her, enveloped her and purified her at every moment to the point that it left no trace of sin in her so that she entered straight into heaven without passing through purgatory.

8. On the day of her death, a few hours before she took her last breath, she said, “Yes, all that I have written about my thirst for suffering is really true! I do not regret having surrendered myself to Love.”

A little later, and these are among her last words, she says, “Never would I have believed it was possible to suffer so much! never! never! I cannot explain it except by the ardent desires I had to save souls” (Novissima verba, September 30, 1897).

9. The key to understanding all this is the passionate love for Our Lord: being loved by him is not enough, but we desire to love him in the same way he loved us, giving ourselves to him to save souls.

With the wish that this becomes a tangible reality in our lives, I bless you and remember you in prayer. 

Father Angelo