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Dear Father Angelo,

I’m writing in the hope that you will help me clear out some doubts that have been assailing me.
Recently, I met a girl I really like and when I talk to her I get a different feeling compared to other girls, my feelings toward her are pure. She isn’t one of those girls who shows off her body, she isn’t vulgar and seems like a serious girl. I wanted to ask you, dear Father, since you’re a priest you will certainly be able to help me, these feelings I have towards her, and I don’t just mean physical attraction, I feel an attraction towards her that goes beyond the physical aspect, could this be a sign that the Lord is giving me to show me the she’s the one? I want to grow with her spiritually as well and, if the Lord wills it, she could be the one for me, maybe my future wife without falling into the sin of fornication.
I want to preface this by saying that I’ve never been on a date with this girl and we barely know each other, but her virtues, her purity, her integrity (I’m sure she’s a virgin) and her intelligence as well have conquered me, I had never experienced these feelings so strongly before, but what can I do to find out if she’s the one? In your blog you write that we can distinguish temptations (which cause sin, remorse, negative feelings) from vocations (which bring us closer to God, enrich the soul and make us feel good). I think these feelings I’m experiencing are pure and come from God and not from the evil one, what do you recommend I do? I apologize for the verbosity of my message and I wish you a great day.
Dearest greetings, …

Dearest,

1. Since your desire is good, we can assume that the Lord had you meet this girl and stirred in you the desire to establish a friendship with her.
Saint Paul says that God works in us “for his good purpose, both to desire and to work” (Phil 2:13).
Now, considering that your desire is pure, why shouldn’t we consider that this desire can come from God?
If it is so –and I think I can say it is, because I have no reason to say the opposite– you’re free to ask the Lord to bring to completion that which he stirred in you.

2. Here’s what an English cloistered saint, Julian of Norwich, who died in 1416, wrote regarding our desires and the necessity of prayer.
God reportedly told her: “I am Ground of thy beseeching: first it is my will that thou have it; and after, I make thee to will it; and after, I make thee to beseech it and thou beseechest it. How should it then be that thou shouldst not have thy beseeching?
Everything that our good Lord maketh us to beseech, Himself hath ordained it to us from without beginning. Full glad and merry is our Lord of our prayer” (Revelations of Divine Love, ch. XLI).

3. In your case, the Lord occasioned this encounter, raised in you the desire to develop a friendship with this girl and now he’s prompting you to ask for this gift.
He’s prompting you to ask for it through prayer because prayer well done creates in us the conditions to receive the gifts that the Lord has chosen to give us before the beginning of time.

4. If unceasing prayer brings you to desire to live a holy life with her, why doubt that you will receive this grace?
Through this desire of yours, the Lord realizes His design to fill your hearts with His love for the good of your family, but also of the entire Church and of many other people.

5. Practically speaking, I suggest you commit to reciting the Holy Rosary daily, to recommend to Our Lady your emotional life and your future.
At the same time, I suggest you develop a great devotion for Saint Joseph, who is also invoked to receive the grace of celebrating a Christian marriage in every sense of the word.
Saint Joseph was especially lucky in receiving Our Lady as a spouse. How can we doubt that he would gladly play the role of intercessor so that many others can have the grace of celebrating a marriage as joyful and holy as his?

6. There, all the advice I gave you is of the spiritual order.
It’s the most efficacious because the Hail Marys of the Holy Rosary are more penetrating than many bullets and stronger than many divisions (of an army). They don’t touch the body but the heart and move it gently according to the characteristics of Our Lady’s conduct.

I wish you well, I recommend you to the Lord and bless you.
Father Angelo