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Dear Father Angelo Bellon,

First of all, thank you for taking the time to answer the questions of so many people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I was brought up as a Catholic but I have major conflicts with religions. I am trying to ‘jump feet first’ into the Catholic Church but I feel uneasy because I cannot overcome the obstacles represented by the big doubts that I have, especially from a moral point of view. 

First question: 

What about all those billions of people in the history of mankind who have never known Christ and the Gospel, or those generous and good-hearted people who, however, have not received the gift of faith (either because they were brought up in other religions or because they simply grew up in non-religious environments). I know that you already have answered to a similar question in the past as follows: “The Lord has many ways of leading men to salvation. We must not forget that St John says that Christ is the true light that enlightens everyone who comes into this world (John 1:9). He enlightens them through the dictates of their conscience and their good faith. If this is followed by their good conduct and repentance for the sins they have committed, together with the help of grace, which is abundantly given even outside the sacraments, they are certainly saved. This has always been the doctrine of the Church…”.

But if this has always been the doctrine of the Church, why is it that on various sites for catechists and also in the Catechism of the Catholic Church I read that a mortal sin (even occasional masturbation or having sex, even when married with love but not for generating life) deprives us of eternal life, if one does not repent (…)? (…).

So how is it possible that the unbaptised can be welcomed into heaven while Catholics who are perhaps pious and good as well are at great risk for the same sins? Then being Catholic, having faith, is a disadvantage: if you are Catholic almost every act that ‘clashes’ with the church catechism leads to hell, instead, as other Catholic theologians say, a good atheist (like the Good Samaritan) is not a lost soul. None of this makes sense. (…).

Second question: how come in church priests do not talk about moral issues? 

I have been going to church since I was 6 years old and I did catechism until I was 13. Most of my friends are Catholics and go to church, I go often, but not always, but we believers know little to nothing about Catholic morality as it is presented in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Why priests do not teach us how to behave? In my whole life, no priest has ever told me that having a girlfriend and making love can lead me to hell. Not even my parents knew about it and they are 70 years old and have been going to church forever. I have spoken to several catechists and it seems that none of them has respected the precept of chastity before marriage and while married (no fornication). At home they do not have a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Why is it that this book, the moral guide of Catholics, which speaks of such fundamental things as who will go to heaven or who does not, is not distributed and read in churches? I see that all the Catholics I know, including the catechists, think that the views about sex as a mortal sin do not exist (…).

The catechists themselves tell me that those are general indications and that the church is modernising and things will change. But why? Who tells them? I do not hear of such debates on modernization; as far as I know the morals are still as described in the catechism. Why catechists also do not believe in certain principles that are important to the church? I can tell you more: my married Catholic friends tell me that in confession their priests absolve them even if they use contraceptives. Mind you: they are not asked to repent, they are absolved, they are told it is not a sin. When I heard this, I sent them a copy of the Catechism (the pages about marriage and sex) that can be found on the internet for free, as a PDF, and these people hold it against me, as if I wrote it and they see me as an extremist.

Why the priests themselves don’t tell us to be chaste and that we could go to hell along with murderers and Nazis if we use condoms or use various (even natural) contraceptive methods? I see that Catholics do not believe in the moral principles of the church, they do not take them seriously. I am one of them.
Is sex that is not aimed at procreation a mortal sin if it is a way of life and not an occasional sin to be confessed, or not? The problem is not mine, I would not like you to shift the focus in your reply to me. I see the problem as a problem between the church and the majority of the Catholics, including catechists and priests. This discrepancy is the basis of my question, not my personal situation.

Cordially,

Daniel

Priest’s reply

Dear Daniel,

1. It is not a disadvantage to be a Christian, but a great fortune, an immense treasure.

It is true that God wants to save all men (cf. 1 Tim 2:4) and offers his grace to all.

But the situation of those who are not Christians is much more disadvantageous because they are not clear about the main goal of life: sanctification.  

They do not know the moral law in all its purity, they lack the ordinary means that offer them grace and remission of sins (the sacraments).

Above all, they do not know Jesus Christ, “our great God and Savior” (Tit 2:13), “God who is over all be blessed forever” (Rom 9:5).

Knowing that Jesus Christ is God changes everything, because as soon as we discover him, he becomes the point of reference, the centre and purpose of our existence.

Moreover, the knowledge that the risen Jesus Christ lives forever, is present everywhere, is with us and, if we are in grace, is also inside us is an unparalleled resource. St Paul said: “I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me” (Phil 4:13).

2. It is a great treasure, but at the same time it is a great responsibility, because we should answer for the wealth we have received and for the use we have made of it.

There is no doubt that we will be judged more severely than the pagans.

3. But the situation of non-Christians remains equally disadvantageous because the natural moral law is transgressed by us as much as by them.

We are all inclined to evil: we as much as they. And what is sin within the natural law is sin for us as much as for them.

The sin separates from God. But while we know it, often realise it, and seek to amend it, those who do not believe in Christ remain somehow in darkness.

It is true that God gives them the grace of repentance through the ways that He alone knows. But do they know how to recognize them? Do they know how to use them?

Is it not easier for them to consider normal what is not, such as polygamy, for example?

In how many of them even an adequate knowledge of God as a person is absent, as for Buddhists, for example?

Although God has disposed everything so that all may know him, yet they seek him “grop[ing] for him and find[ing] him, though indeed he is not far from any one of us” (Acts 17:27).

4. This is why evangelisation always remains imperative.

It is the order that Christ gave His own before ascending into heaven: “Go into the whole world and proclaim the gospel to every creature. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; whoever does not believe will be condemned.” (Mk 16:15-16).

5. As to the second question: in some ways it is true that Christian morality is not known and not taught.

It is also true that when you attended catechism, many things were not told to you.

But it was right not to do so. One cannot introduce children to sexual morality in marriage or pre-marriage. Everything must be done gradually, bearing in mind their sensitivity and their stage of physical and psychological development.

Above all, it is necessary not to upset them by presenting issues that are beyond their understanding.

6. You might say: why don’t we talk about it at Mass?

I could answer you in very simple yet true terms: because Mass is not the right time.

It is true that homily may be an opportunity.

But the purpose of the homily as such is to actualize the word of God we heard into our lives to illuminate and guide them according to the light of the Gospel.

Moreover, the teaching of catechism has its own particular structure: it requires reasoning, reflection on the concepts, exchanges with the listeners, listening to their questions, their objections. This is not possible during the Mass.

7. However, a void remains. There is no permanent catechesis.

The Council of Trent had thought about that by commanding that in all parishes every Sunday afternoon the creed, the commandments, the sacraments and the novissimi (the eschatological realities) be explained.

Once the cycle of meetings was completed in four years, it would be repeated in a cyclical manner.

It would be nice if this were also done today.

In a predominantly rural society, in which people generally hardly ever travelled out of their own village, it was easy to gather people for a second time. It was a day of rest. There were no distractions everywhere. It was also an opportunity to get to know each other and fraternize.

The current context seems not to allow this for various reasons.

The void remains, however, and as such it must be filled.

Some church movements commendably filled that void. But the overwhelming majority of people remains outside, with the consequences that even catechists do not know Christian morality.

8. Your zeal in sending God’s and the Church’s teaching on sexual morality to your friends is commendable.

Even if they turn against it, they ultimately learn that it is not simply your point of view, but God’s commandment.

9. Unfortunately, what you observe remains true: “How come the priests themselves do not tell us to be chaste and that we could go to hell…”.

Yes, it is true that priests should be the first to talk about it.

But parents, educators should talk about it, too…

Mother Teresa of Calcutta used to say that silence about purity is an impure silence.

It is a silence born of impurity.

St John Chrysostom observed that the impure cannot find adequate words to speak about purity. Much less to motivate to purity.

To speak of purity, it is necessary to be pure.

10. Purity is important because it brings us closer to God.

Jesus said: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Mt 5:8).

The author of the book of Sirach says that he sought Wisdom, which here is synonymous with God, and writes: “For her I purified my hands; in cleanness I attained it” (Sir 51:20).

11. Before concluding I must clarify what you wrote about sexuality. You say that according to the doctrine of the Church it should only be for procreation.

Certainly conjugal intimacy has an intrinsic procreative purpose.

However, this same intimacy does not lose its meaning if it does not lead to procreation and if it is expressed during the prescribed infertile periods.

Here is what the Magisterium of the Church says: “The sexual activity, in which husband and wife are intimately and chastely united with one another, through which human life is transmitted, is, as the recent Council recalled, “noble and worthy.” It does not, moreover, cease to be legitimate even when, for reasons independent of their will, it is foreseen to be infertile. For its natural adaptation to the expression and strengthening of the union of husband and wife is not thereby suppressed.
indeed, as experience shows, that new life is not the result of each and every act of sexual intercourse. God has wisely ordered laws of nature and the incidence of fertility in such a way that successive births are already naturally spaced through the inherent operation of these laws. Nevertheless, by urging men to the observance of the precepts of the natural law, the Church, which interprets it by its constant doctrine, teaches that each and every marital act must of necessity retain its intrinsic relationship to the procreation of human life.” (Humanae vitae,11).

12. Let me also add one more thing. Since priests do not talk about purity, why don’t you become a priest yourself and teach these things?

Isaiah the prophet in a particular circumstance writes: “Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me, holding an ember which he had taken with tongs from the altar.
He touched my mouth with it. “See,” he said, “now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.”
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” “Here I am,” I said; “send me!”” (Is 6:5-8).

Perhaps the Lord takes advantage of this somewhat general impure silence to call you.

Even St Dominic was called to preach when those who were supposed to preach, that is, the bishops, were like dumb dogs.

Faced with silence, he did not conform to everyone’s behaviour, but began to speak.

With the wish that you may spend your life in the integral preaching of the Gospel to bring the greatest number to salvation, I assure you of my prayers and bless you.

Father Angelo