I have decided to live my homosexual condition by committing myself to holiness, through daily Mass, weekly confession, and abstaining from carnal desires.

Dearest Father Angelo,

First of all, I would like to thank you for the spiritual guidance you offer to so many lost sheep like myself.

I, too, would like to share with you the defining traits of the Cross I am carrying. I am 44 years old, a man with homosexual tendencies, and recently, after the death of my mother, I sought the Lord and drew closer to faith.

I am aware that homosexuality is a disorder in sexuality, and for this reason I have chosen to live this condition in continence from carnal desires, choosing the path of holiness, attending Mass every day and confessing every week.

I know that for some people healing is possible, but after much reflection, I believe the more honest path is abstinence with the support of the Lord. Do you think I will be able to earn a place in the Kingdom of Heaven and contemplate the light of our Lord this way?

Thank you for the time you will dedicate to reading this letter and for the response you will offer me.

May the Holy Father always protect you and grant you health.

Your affectionate

Response from the priest

Dearest,

1. There are situations of homosexuality that are irreversible.

The Church objectively recognizes this situation where it speaks of a deep-rooted inclination.

2. When speaking of homosexuality, it is necessary to distinguish two levels.

The Church speaks of it from a theological perspective, that is, within the horizon of holiness. Saint Thomas would say: within the horizon of human salvation (ad humanam salutem), of eternal salvation.

In the secular realm, it is discussed as a free and natural expression within society.

3. The failure to distinguish between these two levels leads to confusion.

It is not the Church’s role to legislate on sexual matters within society, because the goal of society is not the same as the goal proposed by the Church.

The Church’s objective is the eternal salvation of souls.

The State’s objective is the promotion of the common good with respect for every person.

4. It must be immediately remembered that it is not the Church that establishes the criteria for the eternal salvation of souls.

The Church receives them from Divine Revelation. Its task is to determine and teach them to those who wish to follow the ways of God.

Those who do not believe have the duty to respect the convictions of believers. They cannot expect a different teaching, because it is not the Church’s competence to establish the paths to holiness. It derives them from God’s teaching.

5. According to Divine Revelation, there are behaviors that do not lead to holiness; they contradict it.

Note well: we speak of behaviours, not inclinations.

Inclinations (in any area) are not grounds for merit or blame. Often, one simply finds oneself with them.

At most, one can say they are good inclinations, like altruism, or bad inclinations, like selfishness.

But it is not inclinations that lead to paradise or the opposite direction.

Rather, it is personal acts that concretely indicate the path one actually follows.

6. Divine Revelation clearly reminds us that certain behaviours contradict holy living, the personal possession of God within one’s soul through grace (see Galatians 5:19–21 and 1 Corinthians 6:9–11).

Christians with a certain interior life easily recognise the incompatibility between certain behaviours and holiness, the life of grace, as in the case of our kind visitor.

Therefore, one must truly rejoice in his determination to pursue this goal without compromise.

Yes, I can say that he has generously undertaken the path of sanctification through daily Mass, weekly confession, and chastity.

Daily Mass and weekly confession continuously communicate sanctifying grace and increase merit for eternal life.

7. This is the path indicated by a Church document, Homosexualitatis problema, from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, dated October 1, 1986.

Here is what it says:

“What, then, are homosexual persons to do who seek to follow the Lord? Fundamentally, they are called to enact the will of God in their life by joining whatever sufferings and difficulties they experience in virtue of their condition to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross. That Cross, for the believer, is a fruitful sacrifice since from that death come life and redemption. While any call to carry the cross or to understand a Christian’s suffering in this way will predictably be met with bitter ridicule by some, it should be remembered that this is the way to eternal life for all who follow Christ.

It is, in effect, none other than the teaching of Paul the Apostle to the Galatians when he says that the Spirit produces in the lives of the faithful “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control”(5:22) and further (v. 24), “You cannot belong to Christ unless you crucify all self-indulgent passions and desires.”

It is easily misunderstood, however, if it is merely seen as a pointless effort at self-denial. The Cross is a denial of self, but in service to the will of God himself who makes life come from death and empowers those who trust in him to practise virtue in place of vice.

To celebrate the Paschal Mystery, it is necessary to let that Mystery become imprinted in the fabric of daily life. To refuse to sacrifice one’s own will in obedience to the will of the Lord is effectively to prevent salvation. Just as the Cross was central to the expression of God’s redemptive love for us in Jesus, so the conformity of the self-denial of homosexual men and women with the sacrifice of the Lord will constitute for them a source of self-giving which will save them from a way of life which constantly threatens to destroy them.” 

Christians who are homosexual are called, as all of us are, to a chaste life. As they dedicate their lives to understanding the nature of God’s personal call to them, they will be able to celebrate the Sacrament of Penance more faithfully and receive the Lord’s grace so freely offered there in order to convert their lives more fully to his Way.”  (HB, 12) [1]

While I thank you for this beautiful testimony and especially for the journey you have begun—because it strengthens the whole Church—I assure you of my prayers and I bless you.

Father Angelo

[1] Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, Vatican City, Oct. 1, 1986. [Online]. Available: https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19861001_homosexual-persons_en.html

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