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Dear Father Angelo,

My name is Carmen, I have already written to you once and now I am trying again trusting in your divinely inspired help.

After the death of our child, my husband closed the door of his heart to God. He claims that the Lord is someone who makes differences between his children since he performs miracles for some and not for others…but he also thinks that the Lord enjoys not intervening because otherwise it would not explain how it is that to some, who behave badly, he gives almost everything they want and to us, for example, he makes us suffer.

Dear Father Angelo I always pray to the Lord for my husband and every day I talk to my child so that he may intercede for us in order to meet Jesus and our son himself, Antonio Gabriele.

Tell me Father Angelo how can I help my husband?

Will he understand that I will suffer throughout my life? But if I have to live, I have to do something meaningful with these days and I owe it to my son.

Thank you always

A mother and a wife who loves her two princes in Jesus.

Carmen

Dear Carmen,

1. Jesus said, learn from me.

He also said, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

I think that your husband is following a pagan god (who does not exist), instead of following Jesus because he seems to be tied to a logic that is still all in this world’s horizon. He does not see further.

That is why he does not understand, he does not talk to his child who lives in God as you do and who from there can help him a lot, all he has to do is open his heart.

2. Changing your husband’s mind requires reasoning, but it is not enough. He needs to let God open his heart.

How to do it? 

3. Listen to what St. Therese of the Child Jesus, whose feast day we will celebrate next Monday, says: “Ah it is prayer, it is sacrifice which give me all my strength; these are the invincible weapons that Jesus has given me. They can touch souls much better than words, as I have very frequently experienced” (Story of a Soul 315).

4. Therefore, you have a great work to do: prayer and sacrifice.

And these are not things of a moment.

As you see, the Lord has ensured that your husband returns to the faith by means of your greater holiness. 

5. Also listen to what the Holy Spirit says through the mouth of St. Peter: “Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior. Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn themselves and were subordinate to their husbands.” (1 Pt 3:1-5).

6. This was the behavior of Saint Rita who did not have a good husband like yours, but an arrogant and even violent one.

She got him back without a word, but she always put before her husband’s eyes the chaste and reverent behavior of his wife.

7. You, as well, try to make him see in your behavior the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition.

This is the path that Christ presents to you. It is certainly difficult, but beautiful and fascinating.

The Lord has ensured that your husband returns to the faith by means of your greater holiness.

I will help you as I can in this struggle.

I will do so with prayer for you and your husband, and I bless you both.

Father Angelo