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Reverend Father Angelo,

I read the email of the guy who complained of not finding truly Catholic girls and I agree with him: the same thing applies to me from a female point of view… And I would like to give evidence that there are girls/ women who think like him…

I was pleased to read that there are guys who have Christian principles about marriage because it is truly a rarity, at least I have never met any!

I think the Church should take note of these problems of young people of good will and dot the i’s on what a true Christian marriage is; I understand that it is like an ant trying to bring down an elephant, but the ant has the strength of Truth while the elephant the fragility of the lie…

Once I happened to attend a baptism of a child whose parents were in a cohabiting relationship and the Priest asked them during the rite: “Do you reject Satan and all his empty promises?” And as per the ritual they replied: I do.

I was stunned because they actually lied since they lived in a state of permanent grave sin and they did so with the consent of the Priest… I am not opposed to the Baptism of the child, but shouldn’t the rite be different given the conditions of the parents? What’s the point of lying? It is more of a farce than a sacred rite… I do not find it respectful towards the Lord.

Anyway, I’d like to contact the guy who wrote to you because he has very clear ideas!

Thank you,

have good evening!

Priest’s answer


1. I am happy with your email that contradicts the cliché that today it is difficult if not impossible to find a boy or a girl who wants to live engagement and marriage in a Christian way.

At the end of your email you ask if it is possible to contact that young man. If after reading the publication of this reply he shows up and agrees, I will take care to put you in touch.

2. I now come to the question whether it is possible to adopt different rituals according to the conditions of the parents.

I do not believe that such a thing is a viable solution, because it is peculiar of this sacrament to remove from the influence or power of Satan and to place under the saving influence of Jesus Christ.

3. I agree with you that asking cohabiting parents if they reject the empty promises of Satan whereas they have the firm will to live in an objective situation of grave sin is contradictory.

However, we do not know the real intentions of the cohabiting couple.

Perhaps they have told the priest that they wish to regularize their situation or in any case that they do not repudiate the Christian life.

4. In any case, it is often necessary to accept to confer the sacraments even on persons who do not give guarantees of authentic Christian life for the great pastoral reason of not closing the door to people.

We know that the Lord did not come to break the bruised reed, nor to quench the smoldering wick (cf. Mt 12:20).

5. Sometimes the lack of commitment on the part of the parents should be compensated for by that of the godparents; these are to be chosen from among those who have already received confirmation and the sacrament of the Eucharist and lead a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on (cf. Code of Canon Law 874.3).

6. Therefore, rather than differentiating in first- and second-class rites, it is already sufficient to put into practice the current legislation of the Church and to keep up with irregular cohabiting parents also for the sake of the Christian education of the children.

Thank you for the email, I remind you to the Lord and I bless you.

Father Angelo

Translated by Chiara P.