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Question

Good morning,

I am writing to talk about a doubt that has tormented me for some time.

A few years ago my mother was admitted to the hospital and, since I was afraid that she might pass away, as happened a few months later, I called a priest to administer  the last rites. At that time my mother no longer had all her mental capacities : she would recognize me, she would speak to me, but she was talking nonsense, sometimes she seemed more lucid, others much less. I didn’t think she was capable of managing a Confession. So when the priest entered her room he went to her bed, began to recite the “Our Father” and she repeated it correctly. I stayed with them, I only remember that he gave her the  Extreme Anointing and maybe he did something else, but I don’t remember what it was exactly.

The fact is that now I have the doubt that it would have been more beneficial if I had walked away  and left them alone, so he could have tried to guide  her in a Confession, but I had not….

 It really torments me the thought  that I should have gone away and  so she would have had the opportunity to confess her last sins, certainly only according to what she was capable of  , but at least she would have had a chance to do so.

Please tell me what consequences there might have been for my omission , what about her and if there is still something I can  do.

Thank you

A priest answer

Dear friend,

I’m sorry to answer with such a delay. But only today did I get to your letter. I beg your pardon.

1.The sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick remits all sins if one is unable to confess them at that moment.

You and also the Priest who was with you believed that your mother was unable to confess and she probably was not, even if she was particularly lucid at the moment of the Anointing.

I too have seen cases of people who spoke in a disjointed manner, but followed the moment of the celebration of the Sacrament with surprising clarity.

2.If the priest had recognized the possibility for a Confession, he would have certainly  asked for it or at least would have given her an absolution.

Since he did not ask for it, you can clear your conscience: you did not intend to deprive your mother of any spiritual comfort.

At that moment you did everything you thought could be done.

3.In regards to your  mother, with the Anointing of the Sick, all her sins were forgiven then and she was disposed to Heaven, as Saint Thomas says.

Being willing to Heaven does not mean that you enter it immediately.

But at least you can be sure that there is no turning back from that path, if from that moment on you no longer commit any serious sin.

And your mother was in fact unable to do so.

4.Now continue with the suffrages that benefit your mother even if, as we hope, she is already in Heaven because they increase her glory.

Theologians say that they do not increase the essential glory that consists in the possession of God because from there one can no longer acquire it.

But they may result in an increase of her accidental glory which also consists in her joy of interceding for graces that might be granted to you and in seeing you blessed by God.

5.These suffrages also benefit you because of the merits you gain before God.

So go ahead serenely.

I remember you and your dearest mother in my prayers and I bless you.

Father Angelo