It seems to me that the teaching of the Catechism of the Catholic Church on children’s obedience to parents differs from that expressed in the Catechism of Saint Pius X

Dear Father Angelo,
I hope you are well and that you had a good festive season.

Do catechisms always retain their value over time, or when a new one is issued, does the previous one cease to be valid?

For example, the Catechism of Saint Pius X, in the section on the Ten Commandments, says that one must obey one’s parents in everything and always, except in sin.

However, in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, again under the Fourth Commandment, it is written that once one reaches adulthood, obedience to parents ceases.

Which one should be followed?

Thank you.

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The priest’s reply

Dear friend,

1 . Catechisms express the doctrine of the Church and, as regards substance, that doctrine cannot change. The doctrine of the Church, in fact, does not belong to the Church but to Christ.

2. Having said this, it must be noted that what you report about the Catechism of the Catholic Church is not entirely accurate. But before explaining what this new Catechism states, it is necessary to recall the very different situation in which families lived in the past compared to today.

The family of the past — that is, in the time of Saint Pius X — was patriarchal. Married sons did not move out; they remained in the family home. Authority did not rest with the fathers of those married sons, but with the eldest member of the household.

To give a concrete example, it is interesting to look at the family of Pope John. It consisted of 30 people: his father and mother with ten children; an uncle and aunt with ten children; another married uncle without children; and the grandparents. The one in charge was the great-uncle Saverio, who was the eldest among the grandparents.

Since everyone lived in the same house, it was understandable that obedience was required not only towards one’s parents but also towards whoever held authority in the household.

3. Today, families are no longer patriarchal. Those who marry usually move out. In doing so, they become, in a certain sense, independent of obedience to their parents, precisely because they no longer live with them — although an attitude of respect must always remain.

4. With this in mind, here is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says.

First of all: “Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience: ‘My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them about your neck. When you walk, they[e] will lead you; when you lie down, they[f] will watch over you.’ (Prov 6:20–22). ‘A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.’ (Prov 13:1)” (CCC 2216).

5. It also states that “as long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey every request of his parents that is for his own good or that of the family. ‘ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.’ (Col 3:20).

Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and of all those to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children will continue to respect their parents. They will anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions” (CCC 2217).

6. It then adds: “With emancipation, the obedience of children towards their parents ceases, but not the respect which is always due to them. This respect, in fact, is rooted in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit” (CCC 2217).

7. Therefore, the Catechism recalls the duty of children to obey their parents. Obedience ceases with the child’s emancipation.

As you can see, the Catechism does not say ‘with adulthood’, which is commonly understood as reaching the age of 18. Instead, it speaks of emancipation.

This means that when one marries and forms a new family, or when one moves away for professional reasons and no longer lives at home, one becomes emancipated.

8. It is also possible to be emancipated while still living at home. In that case, however, what was said earlier applies: “As long as a child lives in the house of his parents, he should obey every request motivated by his own good or that of the family” (CCC 2216).

I wish you every good, I bless you and remember you in my prayers.
Father Angelo

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