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I am a 66 year old father who lost his beloved son in an ordinary plane crash (he wanted to become an airline pilot) . I feel  like I am  going crazy though  I am looking for spiritual answers to my questions in fact I wonder  where he is  now, what he might  be doing , whether  he can see me or not etc.  My family was a happy one, I was father of  two boys aged 22 and 23 and my dead son  was the perfect bond to keep all of us united:  he was a sportsman (from an Italian swimming team and a swimming teacher) he was also a student who was about to earn his degree in sports science  and who, almost every Sunday,used to go to church together with his  family.  He was a wonderful son, no words out of place, no tattoos, no alcoholic drinks. 

Now that his body is no longer here, I spend my days on the internet trying to figure out if his soul is in Purgatory or in Heaven (except   Hell because he was a good boy to my eyes , selfless, he always had  words  full of love to say to  everyone) what is he doing? Perhaps souls  understand each other without speaking, but can  they see each other? Did God give him back his  “glorified  body”? Why wait for the end of the world to get one’s body back? Since he no longer exists on this earth, I have never dreamed or felt him in any way although I truly wish for it to happen. 

Maybe it’s just nonsense  but he used to ask me  “do you love me” ? as he used to say:”we will always be together”. I have felt like I betrayed him since his body was kept in a morgue for about two months until I managed to have the funeral, on August 1st. His dog has been  also looking for him ever since and I don’t know what to do.

I am sure I will be comforted by your answers and your prayers and I thank you in advance. Franco, father of Gioele who is in heaven now. 

The Priest’s reply 

Dear Franco,

1. I am so  sorry for Gioele, whose bodily presence was taken away  from you.

St. Aloysius Gonzaga, who died at the age of 23 while assisting plague victims, wrote the following words to his mother shortly before dying:

“Beware of offending the infinite goodness of God, weeping as dead those who live before God and who can intercede for your needs far more than if they were alive in this world.  Our separation from the dead will not be long-lasting. We will meet in heaven again and together with the Author of our salvation we will enjoy immortal joys, praising Him with all our souls and endlessly singing praises for all He has done. He takes away from us what He had previously given us only to put it in a safer and inviolable place and to adorn us with those goods that we ourselves would choose ”.

2. It seems to me that Gioele is repeating all these words to you one by one from Heaven.

He is telling  you: “The Lord has placed my life in a safer and more inviolable place”.

And for this very reason he is telling  you: “Our  separation will not last  long.

We will meet again in heaven and together with the Author of our salvation we will enjoy immortal joys “.

Finally: “Do not weep the one who lives before God as if he were dead and who can intercede for your needs far more than if he were alive in this world”. 3. Therefore I exhort  you to  unite with Gioele, especially in  praying the Holy Rosary as well as  in attending  the celebration of Holy Mass.

Perhaps you have already experienced many times how true the words of the Church’s Liturgy are: “For your faithful, O Lord, life is not taken, but transformed; and while the abode of this earthly exile is destroyed, an eternal dwelling in heaven is being prepared.”. 

4. Now your communion with Gioele has become more continuous, more intimate.

You are not left with only the thought of him or his memory. You live in his presence that is similar to the presence of Christ that wins and fills the hearts of those who live In God’s grace.  This is the kind of presence that never bothers for it It is always enjoyable. 

5. When sadness assails you, because Gioele is no longer physically present, remember the words of St. Aloysius Gonzaga: “Do not cry as if  those who live in the presence of God were dead and who can intercede for your needs far more than if they were alive in this world”. And immediately entrust to his intercession.

Even if he were still in Purgatory, he can intercede for you and for everyone because his prayers as well as the merits of his life are always before God. 6. As far as you are concerned, try to never dismiss your intercessory prayers for Gioele especially through Masses for his soul as they are necessary not only to help his soul being purified but also to help him achieve greater glory in Heaven. As a matter of fact, achieving greater glory does not mean being fully possessed by God, because this state of grace has already been definitively achieved according to the degree of grace he had previously achieved when he presented himself before God. This means that communion between those who are in Heaven and those who are still living on earth is strengthened. Our communion with them is also shown through the many signs of affection we receive from them and the various graces that they obtain for us from God and that accompany us throughout our lives. 7. For now, the Lord has not yet given Gioele his body back. He  will receive his glorified body when Jesus  comes again  in glory to judge the living and the dead, that is, at the end of the world, at the Last Judgement.  Just because God  has not yet given his  body  back to him, Gioele can still grow spiritually as  he can receive many benefits  from us, such as those  brought him by suffrage, and he can reciprocate by giving us many more.

Soon I will celebrate Holy Mass. I will pray for Gioele so that I can be among those who first  benefit from his intercession before God.

I bless you, I entrust you to the Lord and I send you a fraternal embrace, in Christ. Father Angelo