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Question

Peace to you, Father Angelo,

I have been struck by the first reading, an extract of the Epistle of Jude, especially this verse: “On those who waver, have mercy; save others by snatching them out of the fire; on others have mercy with fear, abhorring even the outer garment stained by the flesh” (Jude 22 – 23). In my opinion, this passage can be connected to 1 John 5:16: “If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray”.

Therefore I would like to ask you what Jude means when he says that we should stay at a distance from others. Are the ones we should keep away from those who commit deadly sins? How can we distinguish those who waver and for whom we are supposed to pray, trying to snatch them out of the fire, from obstinate sinners?  

For instance, I have several friends; one of them stubbornly refuses to believe, even if I have tried to talk to him many times. He swears a lot and claims to be an agnostic, but he is actually an anticlerical, he hates Christians, and looking at his behaviour I can tell he also hates me (to be honest, I am not even sure whether he is totally unaware of this). In this case, how should I behave? Insisting and praying for him despite his stubbornness or  “shake the dust off your feet” (Mark 6:11)  and “abhorring even the outer garment”? 

As a matter of fact, sometimes I feel that I’m taking away all the time that I devote to him from other friends who are wavering and more likely to start to do good. 

I have also read that Saint Pius of Pietrelcina used to drive away those sinners who did not want to repent, and would welcome them with kindness, ready to listen to their confessions, only when they came back humbly and with contrition. 

Thank you. I pray for you.

Kind regards.

Answer

Dear friend,

  1. the people the apostle st. Jude refers to when he says:“on others have mercy with fear, abhorring even the outer garment stained by the flesh” (Jude, 23) have reference to those about whom he had said in the previous verse:  “on those who waver, have mercy; save others by snatching them out of the fire” (Jude 22-23). 
  2. The latter (the wavering ones) are, according to the most widespread interpretation, those people who have already gone astray and are at risk to commit apostasy. You can easily understand why the apostle says that we should save them “by snatching them out of the fire”. Those people are to be rescued in any way possible, including rude ways , as you would do with people who were surrounded by flames. 
  3. The”others” Saint Jude talks about are people who are already at fault, but that are not yet in such a poor condition as those mentioned in the previous verse. Their fault is due to ignorance and weakness rather than to malice, and they are to be pitied, namely we should treat them with kindness and charity while trying to convert them. However, we are supposed to be cautious, or fearful, “abhorring even the outer garment”. “Garments” here means behaviours and external actions. These garments are “stained by the flesh”, namely by lust and passions of the flesh. 

To sum up, the conclusion we should draw is that we have to “become all things to all”, as Saint Paul says, but at the same time we should try to avoid being influenced by those people’s behaviour, just as the leprouses’ garments could not be touched (Lev 13:47) to avoid infection. 

  1. In light of this explanation there might be a connection between what Saint Jude says and what Saint John writes in 1Jn 5:16. Deadly sin would be apostasy (“would be” because others claim that it is any grave sin). Saint John says to pray for those whose sin is not deadly, namely those that have taken a path that might lead to apostasy. He says to refrain from praying for the apostates. This does not mean that we should not pray for them, because we are supposed to pray for everyone. Nonetheless, our prayers are less likely to be answered because they have hardened their hearts. 
  2. The connection between Jude’s verse and John’s verse concerns therefore those who are on the path to apostasy because of ignorance or because of their behaviour marked by the passions of the flesh. Of course, we have to pray for them, we have to try to save them by being close to them, but with caution, so as to avoid being influenced by their behaviour. 
  3. Now, as for your situation: be friendly with everyone, also with that friend that in your opinion hates Christians. Stay with them, but be cautious: do not let yourself be influenced by their defiled behaviours. Praying for them, you will heap burning coals upon their heads, as Saint Paul says. In other words, you will attract from God in their hearts a genuine sorrow for their sins. It is the grace of conversion. 
  4. You are supposed to stay with the stubborn ones as well as with those you call “the wavering ones”, that are not the same wavering ones Saint Jude refers to, but those who are weaker and more fragile in faith. Plead with the Holy Spirit through Mary’s intercession to enlighten you moment by moment as for who you should spend time with. Sometimes you might have to stay with the stubborn ones, some other times with the fragile ones. 

I guarantee you my prayers, I wish you to bear great fruit in the vineyard of the Lord and I bless you. 

Father Angelo