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Dear Father,

I am a 22-year-old girl who converted to Christianity about a year ago and, for a while, I felt discouraged because no one could understand my interior, nor my exterior, transformation.   I felt that only Jesus understood me and overcoming their hostility toward me and against their very own religion made me think of so many questions that I hope you can answer.

Why, Father, the Christians consider themselves as such when they actually don’t voluntarily respect God’s teaching?  Maybe, I think too much, but I can’t conceive how the majority of them would not go to church and even avoid the confession.  Is it ever possible that they don’t have any scruples, or the will to meet Jesus?  I spend my whole day continuously thinking about Our Lord, whatever I do.  I feel so different and far removed  from the others, principally from my family, because somehow my feelings have cooled.  Obviously, this doesn’t mean that I no longer love them, but I am sure that it was me who changed the approach with them.  Every change brings along some modification and my own brought up such a transformation that makes me feel uncomfortable for the others.  Let me clarify my ideas to you:  now, for example, I no longer tolerate profanities, shamelessness, and cell phone use….for me these are all vanities and I prefer prayer and meditation. Do you understand how incomprehensible this can be?  I noted this also with my cousins, they prefer to spend their time on social sites, buying trendy clothes, doing their makeup,  doing all those things that I also used to do before and, consequently, we no longer have anything in common that binds us. What can I do to feel inside of me the same love I used to feel before or, at least, the warmth of my affection that they also have lost because of my own change?  Forgive me for having been a little long and I thank you for your help.

My dear, 

I arrive a little late with the answer and I apologize to you.

1. When we are touched by grace, such as it was in your case, we change completely and we understand that Jesus Christ must be at the centre of any of our behaviours.  Also, we understand that the way many people act, despite thinking of being believers and practitioners, is in fact superficial.

2. On your part, conserve the grace that the Lord has given you. Do not let the fervor cool down.  Actually, ask the Lord to give you a love for Him ever greater.  

3. At the same time, have mercy on your neighbor, because he did not receive the grace (the supernatural touch) that you have received.

4.When we are touched by the grace of the conversion, we begin to live with greater seriousness our relationship with Christ.   And this, unfortunately and very often, is accompanied with a derogatory judgement from others.  To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to think that if the others had received the grace that we have received, probably, they would have made better use of it.

5. At the same time, it must be said that, on our part, we had no merit in receiving that touch that led us to change our lives and gave us the possibility to “taste the good word of God and the powers of the age to come”  (Heb 6, 5).  Therefore, humiliate yourself more and more in front of God and recognize that you are not worthy of “tasting the powers of the age to come”.

6. Changing your life, preferences and interests resulted in the incomprehension on the part of others, maybe pity and derision, too.  Of course, this is a cause of suffering and sorrow.  Offer this to the Lord, as well.  Moreover, think that, up until now, you won’t lose your reward.  Saint Peter says:  “If you are insulted for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you”  (1 Pt 4, 14).

7.  Seeing so many of your loved ones without the grace that you have received must push you to pray so that they too can receive it.  In this way, precisely with prayer, your love for them, not only will it not cool, but it will become even more true and more profound.

I wish you a fruitful Lent, I bless you and I remind the Lord of you.

Father Angelo