Hello Father Angelo,

I would ask you about a question which arises from my own experience: in this time of my life, I am suffering much for a love which is not returned by the other person, a girl.

I accepted that, I am certainly not obsessing myself, however, in my prayer, I pray a lot for her, so that she will be saved and we will find ourselves in heaven together.

My question is: when entering heaven, will she know how much I loved her every day, since I continuously entrusted her to the Lord?

And perhaps, will she joyfully and gratefully welcome the prayers and supplications that I presented to the Lord, entrusting her to Him, sometimes even in tears because of her denial?

I well know tha in heaven, one “neither marries nor is given in marriage, because one is like the angels” as the Lord Himself said. But I wish so much she would know how much I loved her!

I hope that, at least in the Lord, she would understand and be moved by it, even though my love is clearly not even slightly comparable to the one for the Lord, that is clear… but maybe she will appreciate it and rejoice anyway… in short, I hope that in heaven even my denied love will be satisfied (obviously keeping in mind that one “neither marries nor is given in marriage” as said before) …

Thank you in advance for your answer.

A mutual prayer and best wishes for your activities.

The Priest’s answer

Dear,

1. you take “when entering heaven…” as granted.

I wish you will be saved, and the girl you loved and prayed for, too.

And I assure my prayers for that.

2. If the girl you loved enters heaven, she will certainly see the effectiveness of your prayer and will be grateful to you.

It will be one more reason to love you in Christ because she will see her eternal happiness also depended on the love you felt for her, on the many prayers you said for her, and on the tears you shed.

3. As well, you will see that this denied love will have been providential for you.

Sometimes the Lord does not grant us the good we ask Him because that would not benefit our sanctification.

And, in this sense, Saint Augustine says: [tr.] “Whoever faithfully prays for the needs of current life, he can be heard or not heard with the same mercy. For the physician knows better than the sick man what is good for the sick man.” For this reason, St. Paul was not heard when he asked to be freed from the urge of the flesh, in fact because not fitting (rf. Sent. Prosp., 213).

4. But you will also see that you will have got an immense good through that insistent prayer, reinforced by sacrifices to obtain the desired good, along with the exercise of so many virtues.

St. Thomas writes: ‘For it sometimes happens that we pray for another with piety and perseverance, and ask for things relating to his salvation, and yet it is not granted on account of some obstacle on the part of the person we are praying for, according to Jer. 15:1, “If Moses and Samuel shall stand before Me, My soul is not towards this people.” 

And yet the prayer will be meritorious for the person who prays thus out of charity, according to Ps. 34:13, “My prayer shall be turned into my bosom, i.e. though it profit them not, I am not deprived of my reward,” as the gloss expounds it.’ (Summa Theologiae, II-II, 83, 7, ad 2).

5. So, in any case, you will see that everything contributed to a greater good, according to the words that the Holy Spirit inspired in St. Paul: ”We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28).

In the grace of God, deeds lose nothing and nothing remains without merit.

I wish you a peaceful continuation in the Easter joy, and I bless you.

Father Angelo

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