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Question

Good morning Father,

I would like to ask you when offensive thoughts towards parents are considered not only venial but grave sins. Even though I usually avoid getting back to them disrespectfully I must say that my thoughts don’t always take the same direction and it sometimes takes me more than one hour to calm down, especially when my parents interfere with my choices (considering that I am over 25 years of age).

Thank you and Happy Easter,

Davide

Answer from the priest

Dear Davide,

1. Oftentimes offensive thoughts towards parents or our neighbours originate because of some form of injustice. It is this permanent injustice that generates a state of restlessness, dissatisfaction, and desire to recover what was lost or under threat.

Therefore, I am not surprised about the disappointment that you have on those occasions. 

2. By this I am not saying that malice is justified, but subjective guilt is diminished by the emotions of sadness that precede and accompany our thoughts and deliberations.

Saint Thomas says that “when the passion that leads to sin comes before our rational   judgement the gravity of sin is reduced.” (Somma Teologica, I-II, 23, 3, ad 3).

3. Under the impulse of the emotion the intensity of the act increases. But without one noticing it, its freedom is diminished because the previous passion or emotion clouds the mind and therefore diminishes free will.

St. Thomas says: “The emotion (passion of the sensitive appetite) moves the will in relation to the motion that it gets from the external object because when a man is perturbed by an emotion or passion, he is induced to judge good and convenient something that he would have judged differently if he was free from that passion.

First, in a way that reason is totally stopped to the point that one loses the use of reason itself: this happens to those who get mad, furious or foolish because of the violence generated by anger or concupiscence…

Other times, reason is not totally obscured by passion and its function remains partially free. Because of this we can still partially exercise our free will” (Ib., I-II, 10, 3). Ergo, while in the first case free will is totally removed, in the second case it is still present even though it is reduced (diminished).

4. Therefore the emotions that precede an action can bring darkness to the rational

judgement in a way that the resulting action is diminished in its goodness or malice. “An act becomes sinful when it is voluntary and it is in our control.

Now, something is in our control based on our reason and free will. The more reason and free will act as they should, without any impulse driven by passion, the more our act is voluntary and in our control. On the other hand, passion diminishes sin since voluntariness is also reduced” (Ib.,I-II, 77, 6).

5. Therefore, in the case that you brought to my attention we don’t generally have a grave sin.

6. Of course, we must learn to dominate even our feelings of anger or disdain. The exercise of patience and humility along with prayer is without a doubt a great help. We should never forget that the Lord calls us to grow in the exercise of virtues especially in times of hostility. 

Other times we believe that we own those virtues, but it’s an illusion. We just missed an opportunity to exercise them. 

Wishing you to grow more and more in sanctity during this life going through several tests, I remember you to the Lord and I bless you.

Father Angelo