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Dear Father Angelo,
First of all, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the effort that you put into lovingly and meticulously curating your always very helpful column “ A priest answer”.
Already in the past I wrote to you for clarifications, suggestions and elucidations and I have always found in you a reliable source I could count on. I am certain that you were, are and will be of great help to a lot of people.
Now, I wish to write this mail to talk to you about an issue that is close to my heart and that, in recent months, is occupying my heart in an ever greater manner, but at the same time, it is a cause of interior torment that, during specific moments, becomes very strong.
First of all, I will introduce myself briefly.
My name is…….. and I am almost twenty years old and I live in…. Since I was a child, additionally helped and encouraged by the testimony of faith of some of the members of my family, I always had a great interest and involvement regarding what I could define as the “religious sphere”. To put it another way, it has always fascinated me, as an example the rite of the Sacred Mass, the sacred ministry of the priesthood, the grandiose mystery of the Eucarist…..
Now, after growing more mature in the years and reaching an age when one is called to think about one’s future, to what to do with one’s life, the greatest question of all the questions arose in me: “ How about thinking of becoming a priest?”
I am very fascinated by the different aspects and duties of a priest. I feel within me the great desire to exercise these duties myself, as an ordained minister, in the service of the Lord and the Church. You don’t know how much I would like, for example, to be able to meet the people, listen to them and give them the possibility to reconcile with our Father through the sacrament of the Reconciliation and trying, also to give them a recommendation and a direction on the path to follow in the light of Jesus’s teachings! Or even going from house to house or in the hospitals to visit the elderly and the sick, and bring them a word of comfort and, above all, Christ Himself present in the consecrated Host. Or, furthermore, being able to celebrate the Holy Mass….Sometimes I ask myself the same thing Saint John Marie Vianney asked to himself as well, that is, if the priest is able to comprehend how great his ministry is! God listens to him: he pronounces a few words and Our Lord descends from Heaven to the sound of his voice and locks Himself in a small Host.
Having said this, I wish you to let you know about two limitations, that have a very relevant weight and that they prevent me from making the decision to begin the path to consecrate my life to God.
I start from the first, that is the most serious one and the one that torments me the most, which is to give up for the rest of my life to have a family on my own. Often, especially when looking at my peers, grows in me the desire to have a girlfriend, a person to love… and this, as I was saying to you, is a source of great interior suffering, because, as we all know, the two things, the ordained ministry and having a family on your own, cannot coexist. I always ask myself how you, priests for many years, were able to give up forever the companionship of a female in your life…!
The second obstacle regards my psychological health. It has been a little over three years that I am under the care of a psychologist for an anxiety disorder, which prevented me from experiencing some situations that other people easily handle, such as being in a closed space together with many people, etc.; but, above all, it has prevented me from completing my course of studies, forcing me to stop my education at the beginning of the fourth year of high school. Many times I tried to restart my studies, but I have yet to find a modality suited to my personal needs that would allow me to reach the goal of the diploma of secondary education, a necessary requirement for an eventual admission in the Seminary…… However, hoping that it is true what I have been told, namely that some disorders and problems are not destined to last forever, this obstacle would become secondary. I believe that one should just recommend himself to the merciful God, so that He could preserve my health and help me to recuperate after this heavy fall.
Now I stop; I realize I have dwelt too much, forgive me…..
After telling you a bit about my whole story, I would like to simply ask you a recommendation on my situation. How do I understand God’s project for me, what He wants me to do with the life He donated me?
I rest in attendance of your answer, hoping to continue the dialogue to reach some beautiful, fruitful and satisfactory conclusions.
In the meantime, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Truly. I have read many of your answers to other people searching for their life purpose and I was very touched by your humanity and kindness in recommending, encouraging and guiding their steps.
I will remember you with great joy in my prayers and I wish you a good night in the Lord.
With all my heart,
F.
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Answer of the Priest
My dear,
- I would be very happy if your vocation was the priesthood.
From what you are writing, it seems that you also desire this call very much.
- You have talked about the two problems that are troubling you.
The first is regarding your desire to form a family and to have someone to love.
This problem is easy to overcome for a priest if it is fulfilled by the presence of God.
As Saint Thomas reminds us, only God satiates and everything that is less than God does not satiate.
- If a person lives the union with Jesus Christ, the problem is overcome because it
continuously benefits from a presence inside the heart that is sweeter and more gentle of any other presence.
At the same time, with the personal presence of Jesus in the heart, one lives by loving.
Actually, by loving everyone and donating to everyone the greatest love who is God Himself.
A minister who lives like this is never alone. He is alway in fellowship, he is always in communion.
The loneliness, he starts to feel it only when he attenuates the communion with the Lord.
- Instead, the second problem is in my opinion much bigger.
The vocation manifests itself also through a person’s attitude. A priest’s
ministry essentially requires liturgic celebrations that are always accomplished by a community and in a well determined sacred place.
It also requires forms of catechesis that are generally carried out in a community form and in a room, like the one in school.
The priestly ministry comports visiting people in their homes, as well.
Now, if all of this causes you a psychological burden that is oppressive and unbearable, we could say that at the moment an essential element of the vocation is not present.
- As you can see, to have the vocation is not sufficient to feel admiration for a
particular life status and consider it the highest, the most sublime, the most divine that could happen to a person.
But, it is also necessary to have the attitudes, the inclinations, the will to live according to that determined state of life.
- In addition to this obstacle we must add the issue with your studies, that are
indispensable to realize the vocation to the priesthood. Just like no one can practice medicine unless all the necessary studies and apprenticeship are completed, likewise is for a priest.
- Of course, like you wrote in the final part of your mail, it is also true that some
disorders and problems are not destined to last forever.
They could also be a temporary trial that the Lord allows to solidify a determined vocation.
For this reason it is necessary to pray and at the same time to continue to benefit from psychological therapy because grace does not substitute nature.
With the hope that this second problem will resolve and you may know God’s will, I assure you of my prayer, I bless you and I wish you the best.
Father Angelo
