Question 

Good evening Father Angelo,

I am writing to  you after something happened  in my life which  I am going to tell you as  I would like you to help me understand better.  As a Catholic, I get busy in the parish especially teaching catechism to children. The story of little Alfie Evans shocked me. I prayed as I have never done so that what then happened could be avoided. I prayed day and night, despite being mother and wife and having a job, I fasted, I asked with all my heart to our Lord that He  could give the little one a chance by  avoiding  that horrible death, which has no logic I consider it diabolical. I prayed for God to grant the miracle of his healing.But the planGod had in mind for Alfie was different. I am telling you  what happened to me although words fail to express such feelings well. The night before little Alfie’s death while I was praying in my bedroom in the dark I felt like I was  estranged from reality, I felt my arms wrapped in a sudden warmth and I felt Alfie, or rather I had the feeling that my soul met his .  I also have a little fear of sinning when saying these things, but my soul at that moment was sure it was him. I had the feeling of having him in my arms. The whole thing lasted about 4-5 seconds. I came back to myself. It took a day for me to digest what had happened. And I’m still doing it. I have wondered a thousand times if such a thing could be possible, but in my heart,  my soul is certain that that child may have come there, or perhaps , that I  met him in some way. I wondered why. It seemed to me that he greeted me   as if to thank me, I felt this. From that moment my soul has felt  a sweet pleasure in praying,   I feel good, I feel pleasure in my  whole body, it is a beautiful sensation.

This experience was a bolt from the blue after a period of spiritual aridity  that lasted years, during which I was “surviving” although it was very hard to live with.   It is like Alfie woke me up.

In fact, I had  already had special experiences during prayer years back, as I had experienced those kinds wonderful feelings of well-being   which shake one’s  soul until it vibrates  with a surreal love and ardor.

I hope that our Lord will forgive me if I have committed sin in recounting all this or if I  have misinterpreted this experience.

Thanks for your help in advance.    Please pray  for me, Father.

Best regards 

Barbara

The priest’s answer

Dear barbara,

1.     you were right to write to me again as it takes me a very long time to reply. In fact I am currently reading  the emails of last December.

But for you now  I have decided to make an exception (end of July 2018).

2.       I would like to start by making a clarification onone of your statements: “I prayed for God to grant the miracle of his healing. But the plan God had in mind for Alfie was different.” We do not know if God really had in mind a  different plan for Alfie. Because nothing prevents us from thinking that the Lord wanted Alfie to stay with us. For this reason we must say: the Lord allowed Alfie to have another path. God never wants evil. He allows it.

   3. As for the experience you described to me I must say that having  no reason to deny what you have lived, I am with what you have told me and I take it as true because it is not impossible that what you have described to me can  happen.

4.     I try to give a theological explanation to this.

Of course Alfie remained in his place.

But the Lord  created something that would put you in communion with Alfie through the Angelic Ministry. 

And you were sure of that. 

At the same time you felt invaded by a feeling  of prayer, peace and joy.

5.     In my opinion, the Lord wanted to reward you with that moment  of grace for the prayer and for the affection you had for this child.

What you did for Alfie was  considered  by Jesus as if you did for Him. And He  wanted to give you a token for His approval because He rewards even the smallest act of charity done for Him.  

6.     At the same time, the Lord wanted to give you an even greater gift: that of feeling you are reborn  after a long period of inner  aridity. 

This “bolt from the blue” that you had is a sign that the Lord has given you so that you may continue on the path that the story of Alfie has rekindled in you.

7.     Just as the disciples of Emmaus, on seeing the risen Lord, left full of joy, so you too should do the same thing.

 Start  again on the path that the Lord has reopened for  you.

It will be a path dotted  with many signs  that the Lord will give you  by virtue of the love you had for Him  for the love you will show to your neighbors in need. Despite the trials of life, you will experience  greater and greater joy.

In order for this path to continue more and more briskly, I gladly assure you of my prayers and I bless you.

Father Angelo

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