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Good morning,
I’m a 20-year-old guy and I’m impressed by your answers and dedication: I congratulate you.
There are many questions I would like to ask; however, there is something that has been tormenting me for a while now… I have returned to the faith a few months ago: I try to keep away from sin but it isn’t always that simple.
As I was getting information about the various types of sin, etc. I learned that for a sin to be committed there has to be awareness and the will to commit it. This is a source of relief because it means that in all those years I haven’t sinned, but now the thing is different… I ask myself (maybe with a little bit of envy) if it’s not better to remain ignorant about it. I commit myself and I have to give up some things only to sin more than people who don’t think about the faith at all during their youth?
I’m afraid of hell but I guess I’ll never be able to completely stop sinning… Yes, I know I’ll be forgiven through confession, nonetheless, I’ve still got doubts. For example, I think there will be some sins I won’t be able to resist, and I take comfort in the fact that I will be forgiven if I repent (and I know this is wrong).
Or I start thinking that if I don’t remember all my sins I won’t be forgiven, etc…
The fact is that the more I get close to the faith and understand things, the more I find it hard to decide if it’s for my benefit… I think that living in ignorance would make things easier for me, but I fear this could be a sin (and to be honest I’m happy to live in the faith, I feel I’m becoming a better person and I want to grow more in this).
Some sins like cursing and masturbating aren’t part of my life anymore, and I’m happy about that; I know that If I fall into them again I’ll sincerely repent and will resolutely keep away from them. But there are other things, like making love before marriage with a girl I really like… I know it’s wrong… but I can tell you right now that I won’t be able to resist, either for my will or her will. Maybe she’s a good girl but living in ignorance, away from the faith (and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to convince her that it’s wrong to have pre-marital sex); the idea that I could sin in this way in the future torments me and I don’t know how to improve the situation.
Thank you in advance for your help.
The answer of father Angelo
My dear,
1. It is true that in order to commit a sin you must have full knowledge from the mind and deliberate consent of the will.
However, if someone commits actions that objectively are grave sins, without knowing it, the negative effects -even if there shouldn’t be any charge or punishment- still remain.
Drinking poison will kill you, and it doesn’t matter if you thought it was just liquor.
Still, our sins don’t damage God, but only us who commit them.
This is why in the sacred scripture it can be read: “he who sins does harm to himself” (Syrach 19,4).
John Paul II affirms that sin always is “a suicidal act” (Reconciliatio et Paenitentia 15).
And also: “As a personal act, sin has its first and most important consequences in the sinner himself: that is, in his relationship with God, who is the very foundation of human life; and also in his spirit, weakening his will and clouding his intellect” (RP16), and thus, by gravely offending God, “ends in turning against man himself with a dark and powerful force of destruction” (RP 17).
2. Sticking to an example you made: “masturbation is an act of pure egoism”, as father Gasparino said.
Such is and such remains even if one doesn’t know it’s a sin.
3. The same can be said for the precept of keeping festivities holy: many don’t know that not going to Mass constitutes a grave sin.
And this action cannot but have negative effects on one’s life: you end up deprived of the benediction that God promised for that day since the dawn of creation: “God blessed the seventh day and made it holy” (Genesis 2,3).
The benediction is an effusion of gifts. At the same time, it preserves them. Moreover, by not going to Mass we lose the presence of resurrected Jesus, which is diversely present in the Church gathered there: in the holy assembly, in the priest, in the hearing of the Word and under the appearance of bread and wine.
Now, his presence always communicates grace, peace and joy and keeps the demons away from us.
Not going to Mass is like depriving yourself of these supernatural gifts and leaving the door open to your adversary. This still happens even if in ignorance about the fact that not keeping festivities holy is a grave sin. It’s harmful either way.
4. The same thing can be said about every other sin: they never constitute a gain, always a loss (and get us exposed to the risk of losing everything).
5. However, you made another interesting statement in your email. There’s this beautiful experience you wrote about: “and to be honest I’m happy to live in the faith, I feel I’m becoming a better person and I want to grow more in this“. Living the faith is the same as just starting to taste the reality that will constitute our eternal beatitude. This is why a life of faith, if authentic, is always beatific and joy-conveying. And it makes you feel the desire to grow in it.
6. Well, this very desire to grow is the reason why the Christian is an optimist about his future.
He knows that there will be temptations of sin.
But he doesn’t look at these temptations as somebody who’s empty and with no resources. If he grew in the faith, he knows that he has an interior resource which is far stronger than temptations. This resource is grace, and it’s like carrying a fire.
Thus we experiment how much these words of Jesus Christ correspond to reality: “In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world” (John 16,33).
7. Therefore, with regard to your future, if you grow in the life of faith you’ll feel that the desire to remain chaste and united to God will become stronger and more efficacious than the opposite temptation.
I bless you and pray for all this to be realized in your life.
Father Angelo
