Good evening father,

my question is very simple and straightforward. I met a boy who is cohabiting in a special circumstance.

My question is: I desire this person, in a pure way of course, and I pray that a union can take place, always if it is God’s will…

But is it a sin to desire him if he is cohabiting and is therefore committed to another woman?

God bless you always

The priest’s answer

Dearest,

  1. It is also among a person’s duties to respect the property of others.

Friendship is a great asset. In fact, it is one of a person’s greatest assets.

Therefore, the friendships of others should always be respected in the same way as we demand that our own be respected.

  1.  Although our neighbor may live their friendship in a disorderly way, because it is not according to God, such as living together, nevertheless it does not cease to be a good thing for those who have it.

Therefore it should always be respected.

In the case you presented to me, it constitutes an injustice to the person from whom the friend is taken away.

  1. It is true that the person, with whom one seeks to bond, is responsible for their own choices. 

And it is also true that one cannot speak of adultery because adultery is a betrayal of marital fidelity.

Nonetheless, a person, who has a friend taken away from him or her because they were bewitched by another person, a friend to whom one had mutually committed oneself, from whom one had received so much, but to whom one had also given so much, is at stake.

  1. This does not mean that one cannot pray for two people who are living their friendship in a disordered way according to God, so that they may understand that cohabitation is depriving them of the freedom they absolutely need in order to establish a marriage that has a solid foundation, so that they may begin to live their love in a pure and holy way, and perhaps even that their eyes may be opened to understand that they are not made for each other.

In this case one prays for and desires the good, not the bad, of both of them

  1. If you objectively see that their living together cannot go on, in addition to praying for both of you, try to make yourself worthy of receiving that boy by living holily and in the exercise of all virtues.

If our prayers and aspirations have holiness as their goal, they are more pleasing to God, can hasten the enlightenment of the people for whom we pray and leave everyone happy.

  1. I would like to add one last thing about friendship, about which I said that it is a precious good for people.

It is so precious that man’s perfect happiness is realized only in friendship with God.

No intimacy is as deep as the one we can have with God.

Indeed, charity aims to ensure that God remains personally in us and we in God.

This is accomplished by living in a state of grace.

  1. In fact, the Holy Spirit says through the mouth of Saint John: “God is charity, and who remains of charity remains in God and God remains in him” (1 John 4,16).

I accompany this wish for all of you with my prayer.

I bless you, Father Angelo

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