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Greetings Father Angelo, 
first of all, I thank you for your willingness to answer the questions posed to you, I read many of your answers on the ‘Dominican friends’ portal. My name is Riccardo, and I am a 26 year old man.  Ever since I was a child, my parents taught me the value of faith and I have always attended the convent in my town. From adolescence to the age of 20 I distanced myself from God. When the opportunity arose I committed impure acts, thank God I did not lose my chastity.

I was arrogant, presumptuous, vindictive, resentful, rebellious, vain. I didn’t know the value of prayer, in fact I never prayed. (…).

In January 2016, while reading by chance an article about Medjugorje, I heard a voice in my heart telling me “Are you happy? If you live this way you will never be happy and you will lose yourself. Be consistent with your values. Do not fear”. My conversion began there, in tears of joy.

From that moment I began to confess weekly, to take communion, to go to mass every Sunday, to practice premarital chastity, to pray, to improve various aspects of my character.

My girlfriend noticed this change and, even though she never said anything to me, I sensed that she wasn’t happy with it, and in fact she left me.
Because of my conversion I lost friends and at the same time I found others, some judged me, others laughed at the fact that I wanted to maintain chastity, but it doesn’t matter to me because I am happy to follow Jesus and Mary.

I have met different girls, but I have not found in them the values ​​on which to build a relationship, I have spoken about my faith and premarital chastity, but I have not had positive feedback from them. I recently graduated in civil engineering, I would like to be able to find a job and a girlfriend with whom I can start building a family project.

I put this intention in the rosary, I ask Our Lady to help me, however Father Angelo I am a little discouraged, because I see a void of values ​​around me and I fear I won’t be able to find a girl with whom I can share a chaste love and a project of family. 

I remember you in the prayer of the Holy Rosary, 

God bless you.

With affection,
Riccardo 

Priest’s answer 

Dear Riccardo,


1. Unfortunately I cannot contradict the observation that you make about a void of values ​​around you.

This emptiness depends on the fact that God is not present in the lives of many people.

John Paul II said that today we are witnessing mass apostasy and that people live without thinking about their eternal destiny.

2. It is precisely the objective of eternal life that characterizes the meaning of present life.

If this objective is eclipsed, morality also collapses, with the exception of that which is limited to not doing to others what one does not want done to oneself.

Saint Paul reminds us that if the ultimate objective of our existence is lacking, it is inevitable that we live in search of some pleasure.

He says: “If the dead are not raised: “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.”” (1 Cor 15,32).

3. Now, amongst the pleasure of the senses, the strongest ones are those linked to sexuality.
This in itself is not bad, because God ordained it.

The ancient theologians said that God also rewards through pleasure what one does to keep oneself alive and what one does for the subsistence of the human race.

4. The problem is that today sexuality is detached from the intrinsic objectives that God has set for it and which are inherent in our very nature.

The exercise of sexuality is aimed at the sincere and total gift of oneself.

The procreative purpose is ineliminably contained in the total gift of oneself.

But today we don’t want to commit ourselves to total self-giving, which is in itself exclusive towards the groom or bride.

5.This is why the exercise of sexuality today is disconnected both from love, unless it is momentary, and from procreation.

But this is not without consequences.

According to Saint Thomas “...man seems to go furthest away from God in the sin of lust” (Comment in Job, lecture. 31, beginning) and  “lust gives rise to blindness of mind, which excludes almost entirely the knowledge of spiritual things, while dullness of sense arises from gluttony, which makes a man weak in regard to the same intelligible things. 

On the other hand, the contrary virtues, viz. abstinence and chastity, dispose man very much to the perfection of intellectual operation. Hence it is written (Dan. 1:17) that “to these children” on account of their abstinence and continency, “God gave knowledge and understanding in every book, and wisdom.”” (Summa theologiae, II-II, 15, 3).

6. However, don’t be discouraged because we have means that can open unexpected doors and touch the hearts of many people.
I allude to what Saint Therese of the Child Jesus wrote: “Verily in prayer and sacrifice lies all my strength, they are my invincible arms; experience has taught me that they touch hearts far more easily than words” (The story of a soul, 315).
And again: “How wonderful is the power of prayer! It is like unto a queen who, having free access to the king, obtains whatsoever she asks.” (Ib., 317).

7. In this regard I recommend the prayer of the Holy Rosary, which you already do. Make a point of saying it daily.
Blessed Bartolo Longo in his novena to Our Lady of the Rosary to obtain any grace writes: “You already promised Saint Dominic that whoever  graces will obtain them with your Rosary; and I, with your Rosary in my hand, dare to remind you, O Mother, of your ancient promises”.
You will see that the Our Lady, whom Jesus gave you as a mother, will not disappoint you.

To your prayer I gladly add mine.
Together with the good wishes for a serene and Holy Christmas, I wish you all good things and I bless you.
Father Angelo