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Hi,

I’m 15 years old and recently I’ve become interested in the Christian religion; unlike most of my peers, who are atheists with Christian parents, I have always been an atheist, my parents are atheist and I’m not even baptized.

Since when I was a child, my father in particular used to swear a lot and didn’t give to charity. Growing up I sinned several times, I didn’t receive Confirmation or Holy Communion and I always took it for granted that God didn’t exist.

Now I hope it’s not too late to change, but I don’t know from where to start. Besides, I’m sure my father wouldn’t approve. So if I want to go to confession, or even just be baptized, I would have to wait until I am 18, unless the Church allows it to be done hiding from one’s family: I’m afraid I would be sinning in that case, and that’s another reason why I’m writing to you; it would be a difficult plan to carry out in any case. 

I hope that one day my father and my friends will come to the same conclusions as me and that they won’t have the same problems that I am experiencing, but none of them are planning to convert and I don’t know what to do.

I would therefore like to ask you what I should do and to whom I should talk in my situation, bearing in mind that if my father finds out, he will be totally against it; currently, what I am doing is trying to stop sinning, I no longer blaspheme, but I am struggling to stop with onanism.

Best regards,

Thank you very much

Priest’s response

Dearest, 

1. Jesus said: “No one can come to me unless the Father draw him.” (Jn 6:44).

This attraction to the Lord, therefore, does not come from you, but from Jesus Christ, your savior.

2. I’m glad you’ve stopped swearing, which, besides being harmful, is a completely stupid thing to do, both for those who believe and for those who don’t.

When a person swears, they dishonor themselves. Those who are close to them, if they have any dignity, will immediately sense it.

Now, by the grace of God, you feel it. This too is a grace!

3. I hope you manage to overcome the other sin too. Do this: show Jesus that you love him. 

When you feel the temptation, turn to Jesus and tell him that you want to love him and as a sign of this you don’t want to sully the body that he gave you, so it can become the temple of the Holy Spirit.

You will immediately feel a spirit of happiness get inside you. Your soul will be inebriated by a very sweet presence: that of God in your heart.

It will be an immensely better, more comforting, deeper and more lasting experience than the momentary pleasure of sin, which leaves you empty.

This is why so many young men have managed to suddenly stop doing it.

4. You tell me that so far you have not made your First Communion, gone to Confession or been confirmed.

You probably feel that there is something missing, and not simply from a sociological point of view because everyone, or almost everyone, does it.

Here too, at the root of this, there is the Lord who is silently telling you: “Open your mouth, I want to fill it” (Psalm 81:11).

When our desires are good, we must be persuaded that what the Holy Spirit said through St. Paul is happening in our life: “For God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work.” (Phil 2:13).

5. Before getting to the main issue, that of your Baptism, I would like to underline something you said in your email: “in particular, my father used to swear a lot and didn’t do charity”.

Doing charity, which here is understood as helping others, is something very pleasing to God and makes one to open their heart to Him, consciously or unconsciously.

In the Acts of the Apostles, we read about a Roman centurion named Cornelius who, besides praying, gave alms generously. Precisely for this reason, “One afternoon about three o’clock, he saw plainly in a vision an angel of God come in to him and say to him, “Cornelius.” He looked intently at him and, seized with fear, said, “What is it, sir?” He said to him, “Your prayers and almsgiving have ascended as a memorial offering before God. Now send some men to Joppa and summon one Simon who is called Peter.” (Acts 10, 3-5). 

In the meantime, Peter had a vision and, encouraged by what he had seen, he went to Cornelius with great enthusiasm.

When he arrived, he told everything that had happened. And then “While Peter was still speaking these things, the holy Spirit fell upon all who were listening to the word.” (Acts 10,44). And Cornelius was baptized.

Perhaps it is precisely because of the alms and charity you have given that the Lord is rewarding you by drawing you to the faith and beginning to dwell in you with His grace.

6. Now I come to the problem of baptism.

Now that you are 15 years old, no one will baptize you without a preparatory path called the Catechumenate.

For this you should talk to your parish priest to see what steps you can take.

On average the Catechumenate lasts one or two years depending on the path established by the diocese and taking into account the situation and preparation of those who request Baptism.

At the same time, together with Baptism, you will also receive the Eucharist, Confirmation and you must prepare for subsequent confessions.

7. Your father will disagree, but in the end, like it or not, he will have to give in.

You are his son and precisely because he doesn’t want to stand in the way of his son’s path to happiness, he won’t be able to say no to you.

Faced with his denials, many will tell him: “Let him do it!. After all, what harm can it do you if he becomes a Christian?”

Perhaps at first his ego will be a little bruised because he will see that his son is growing up differently from how he has tried to educate him.

But he will not deny that this type of growth does not make you rebellious or negligent about your duties or towards your family members.

In a word, he will not be able to deny that you are following the good path and, finally, he will be proud of you.

8. In the meantime, even if you haven’t been baptized with water yet, you are already receiving the baptism of desire and, with it, the sanctifying grace that unites you to the Lord and makes you pleasing to Him.

Start praying. Say the Lord’s Prayer and then the Hail Mary.

Pray not only for yourself, but also for your family and friends. The Lord will hear your prayers.

Pray also for the forgiveness of your sins.

I will gladly accompany you on this journey with my prayers.

I will gladly remember you in the celebration of Holy Mass and I bless you.

Father Angelo