Good morning father Angelo,

I would like to ask you for some advice.

I’m a Christian man, 30 years old, a practicing catholic who lives in a state of grace, and I have to make an important and life-changing decision. It’s a choice I’ve been procrastinating for some years, because the change I was waiting for was slow to come.

I have two completely different roads ahead of me. The first one (at the moment the one I feel more attracted to) is making a family: finding a woman that completes me, getting a stable job and becoming a productive member of the society. Being in the world but not of the world. 

Sadly, I haven’t found the right person yet. Maybe I’m too picky; It might be mainly because of a series of unfavorable circumstances, such as the solitude I’ve lived in the past year. That’s why I started asking myself if God doesn’t have another plan for me.

The second road is that of consecrated life; however, I haven’t felt any particular calling to it. It is true that in the years of my conversion I experimented the help and intercession of Mary, as well as many saints and blessed people whose life I admire truly (this was particularly true at the beginning of my conversion: Saint Pio of Pietrelcina, Saint Jude Thaddeus; Saint John Bosco; Saint Therese of Avila…); there were also many events, interior consolations and coincidences. For example, In my family there already is somebody who chose consecrated life: my twin brother is a Cistercian monk. 

I sought the help of my confessor, who suggested to me this: to intensify prayer; to have daily communion, at least the spiritual one; to do my duty and do good. I’ve tried to put all this into practice.

Moreover, I decided to recite for a whole year the fifteen prayers of Saint Birgitta of Sweden, and to meditate every day on these words: “show me the way and prepare me to follow it – for it is dangerous to linger and risky to proceed. I come to you, like a wounded man seeking the medic for help. Lord, give peace to my heart”.

The daily meditation on these prayers helped me get through this difficult year: however, there was no breakthrough.

Maybe the Lord wants to purify me more, to free me from my attachments and my worldly mentality. But how long will I be able to resist this uncertainty?

I can’t progress anymore in my spiritual life. My soul is divided between the desire for vanity, worldly ambitions, and the acknowledgement of the transience and incoherence of this society.
Furthermore, I notice that as time passes helping others proactively, as well as through prayer, makes me feel very good.

I ask for your counsel and prayers, so that I will be able to discover the project that God has for me.

Thank you.

 

The answer from Father Angelo

My dear friend,

  1. I rejoice for the fact that you live as a christian, that you’re in a state of grace and attend the sacraments. I say this not for your praise, but because I want you to give thanks. Now you too can say with Our Lady: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Savior… The Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is His Name” (Luke 1, 46; 49).
  1. Regarding the problem that bothers you, let me say that it is not posed properly. For sure you’re open to do God’s will, but it seems from your email that the thing that you desire the most is for God to send you somebody to start a family with. If this were not to happen, then you would fall back on priesthood.
  1. As you can see, religious vocation looks more like a backup plan. Instead, the call from God is so great that when we hear it, we must make a choice for Him even if we already have a girlfriend and are seriously thinking about marriage. That’s how our life can be offered to the Lord.
  1. This is the first problem we have to solve. If with the help of your confessor you notice that the signs of the religious calling or priestly vocation are present, then you should decide immediately for the Lord. There’s no need to wait.
  1. And if you found a good girl just after your decision to give your life to the Lord, nonetheless you won’t withdraw your offer. It’s a matter of love. Choosing God can never be a backup plan. It would be the highest and most beautiful choice of your life, and you would be ready for any sacrifice. It’s an immolation. And once immolated, we’re His forever.
  1. Therefore, I think you shouldn’t wait anymore. If the lord calls you to priesthood, then take the road to the seminary or the convent. If He doesn’t call you there, then wait confidently for the woman He prepared for you.
  1. You shouldn’t expect any spectacular sign from the Lord. It is enough for you to feel compelled in front of the material and supernatural necessities of others, especially when you think about their eternal salvation. You already see some signs, such as the happiness you feel when you help others, either through actions or prayer. It is enough that, after hearing God’s question: “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”, you decide to answer “Here I am; send me!”. For you to proclaim this yes,you have to feel this inclination and your confessor shouldn’t find anything that clearly indicates that this is not your vocation.
  1. As far as I’m concerned, I think that the Lord is calling you. Your confessor told you to pray a lot and to receive Holy Communion daily. And you’re doing it: you understand that being with the Lord is a great grace. His friendship is not a burden for you, but the most precious reality. I’m sure that you wouldn’t give it up for anything. The fact that you steadily live in God’s grace is in and of itself an important sign for the confessor to discern the premises of your vocation. It is not the only sign, but it’s fundamental.

As for me, I will pray that you will be able to say a complete, definitive, complete and loving yes as soon as possible, maybe even today.

I bless you,

Father Angelo

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