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Question

Dear Father Angelo,

My name is Nicola, I recently became a member of the confraternity of the Rosary. 

Unfortunately, after some time, I started having questions that made me lose my faith in God.

1. I am in a very difficult situation, I feel very confused about what to do with my life. I keep asking questions and I would like to hear a clear answer from Jesus.

I feel as if I was at the mercy of  world reality, I am always trying to interpret potential signs of what God wants from me. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy and I wonder who made me do this. Why wouldn’t He appear to me or manifest Himself in a clear way, maybe in my dreams, to calm me down? A Father would do that for his son. He would go and look for him, telling him to stay calm and that everything will turn out all right.

2. I often hear stories of conversion from other Christians, and they happened through dreams of Jesus. These people are beaming with joy, yet I wonder why with all the desperate people that are in the world seeking help, Jesus does not at least try to manifest Himself. If He was not able to do this then He would not be omnipotent. I say everything is worth trying, however, it does not seem to me that Jesus does the extra mile to reach everyone. For example, St. Paul comes to mind: he was dazzled by God himself.

In that situation God came in at the drop of a hat, He did not act through inspirations or anything like that.

Thank you

Priest’s answer

My dear,

1. Sure, it would be easier for us if the Lord manifested Himself through a dream or through an apparition.

Yet, if that was the case, it would make things even more complicated.

Who would assure us that that particular dream or apparition came from God? It could be the fruit of our subconscious, or as it is  difficult to rule out, it could also have come from the enemy.

The devil in fact is a fallen angel.

He lost God’s grace by rebelling against God, and found himself in the hell he created for himself, but he has not lost his angelic nature.

And since angels have a certain power over material realities, so do demons.

The Sacred Scripture warns us by saying that “Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.” (2 Cor. 11:14).

2. Concerning St. Paul, things were different. For starters, he was surrounded by other people who witnessed the extraordinary event that occurred.

Although they were enveloped in the heavenly light themselves, they still heard both the voice of Jesus Christ and St. Paul’s responses. They witnessed his sudden blindness and the healing that took place a few days later with the intervention of Ananias, who went to the house where Paul was after a direct instruction from our Lord.

In this case no one would dare to say that it was an illusion.

There certainly was a heavenly intervention in an extraordinary form.

3. Here is the description reported by St. Paul given in the Acts of the Apostles: “Meanwhile Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any who belonged to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’ He asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ The reply came, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.’ The men who were traveling with him stood speechless because they heard the voice but saw no one. Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. For three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank. Now there was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias…” (Acts 9:1-10).

4. You wish that the Lord would make such an intervention with you as He did with St. Paul.

But we must say that it was an episode driven by grace and that He intervened only exceptionally.

For if this was God’s ordinary, everyday way of intervening, an endless chaos would ensue. No one would understand anything anymore.

How many appearances would need to occur daily to every single person in need of the light from God! How many people would be blind, without eating or drinking for three days and motionless like St. Paul!

And if He appeared in a less dramatic way, who would be in charge of discerning the authenticity of the apparition?

5. So the best way forward remains the one God has given us, and that is to use our intelligence and follow the so-called prudential criteria.

To proceed schematically I would say that this can be encapsulated in three words: attraction, aptitude, discernment.

6. Concerning attraction: a person is inclined to choose one path over another based on the fascination that they feel towards a particular goal.

One would say that this particular goal, among the many that may be put before us, calls us in a particular way, saying: I am made for you.

In our life’s journey we may face a plurality of callings, of vocations.

First of all, one may feel the attraction for life as a member of a couple, or a family.

This is a fascination written in our nature as we are men and women. It is a “natural” vocation.

Everyone will feel this and think about it in one way or another.

7. There can be at the same time a feeling of fascination for priesthood and consecrated life, which consists in dedicating oneself to the matters of God and the desire to give God to men through the sacraments, preaching, and personal contact.

This is a vocation of a “supernatural” order.

It is supernatural not only because it comes as a special call from God and is God-oriented. But because it realizes in a new way and above natural inclinations one’s affective life as well.

It is a peculiar type of spousal relationship and an extraordinary abundance of grace.

The two callings can coexist in a young person with the same intensity of attraction.

8. Concerning attitude.

This applies to the natural vocation as well as to the supernatural one.

Concerning the natural vocation: it is not enough that we like a particular person. It is necessary to see whether a permanent communion of life can be established with that person, with his or her characteristics, talents and limitations.

The purpose of the engagement period is precisely this: to verify the compatibility of desires, wills, lifestyle, inclinations, aptitudes and feelings, including the spiritual one.

It is about finding the so-called soul mate, who is not necessarily identical to us in every way, but is a person who guarantees the possibility of living together in mutual refinement and fulfillment.

This also applies to the call of supernatural order.

If we are looking at a vocation to the priesthood, it is necessary to investigate whether one will be suitable for a ministry that requires the capacity of being in contact with people.

If we are looking at a vocation to the religious and contemplative life, it is necessary to investigate whether a person will be suited to the charisma of the institute one would like to enter, whether he or she has the qualities necessary for living a life in community that requires following particular rules.

One must give due consideration to a person’s psychological resilience, whether he or she is prone to constant mental challenges, or if he is affected by a particular fragility of character.

This is why what Father Sertillanges, a great French Dominican, said in his time is particularly accurate: vocation is what one is.

And what one feels made for.

To follow a vocation is never to do violence to oneself.

9. Finally, concerning discernment. 

In the vocation to marriage, the engaged couple go through a discernment, speaking with each other and choosing a chaste lifestyle to maintain lucidity. Doing so, one person is not clouded by passion and sensible pleasure in evaluating his calling. Instead, in the vocation of supernatural order, discernment is done by standing before God (this is also considered “speaking” ) with the help of a wise and experienced person.

Those who sense the signs of this new vocation feel that God is speaking to them in a personal way through the words of Scripture, though some event or even through an incident.

For example, Mother Teresa of Calcutta described that at the time of her vocation she was on a train on her way to spiritual exercises.

During that train journey she was touched by the sight of the miserable state of so many poor, sick and abandoned people. She felt that the Lord was calling her to dedicate herself to them.

As another example, I remember a young man who was doing his military service. One evening he was on leave with his fellow soldiers, and he was struck by the moral misery that was shining through their speeches and intentions. They were then passing in front of a church. And the young man turned to the Lord inside his heart and asked, “What can be done for these young people?” It seemed to him that he clearly heard a voice replying, “I made you.” He did not wait around for other men to become priests to do good for young people. He immediately responded generously to the Lord’s call.

10. Of course, the generous impulse of a moment is not enough.

Discernment helps to test if one is suitable to that certain life, and it helps to take the right path.

And since four eyes generally see better than two, discernment in this supernatural vocation must be done with the help of others.

Especially with a trusted and experienced person.

11. If it will come down to this for you, since you belong to the confraternity of the Most Holy Rosary, with the Rosary in your hand ask the One whom the Lord has given you as Mother in grace to bring you this person.

I gladly accompany you with my prayer, I wish you well and I bless you.

Father Angelo