Questo articolo è disponibile anche in: Italian English Spanish Portuguese

Good-morning Father Angelo,
I am writing to you for some spiritual, maybe even technical, advice.
Since the sin of lust is prevalent in me over the other sins, I often find myself in a state of weakness, of interior death, not being able to control my eyes and my mind when I run across the attractive women that I see around all the time; I am perfectly aware that it is a consequence of this sin of mine.
In a few words, I often fall into the sin of impurity of the thoughts because I cannot control my mind, I am unable to have control over it.
It goes without saying that this triggers in addition a struggle not to fall into impure acts.  All this generates in me frustration, despondency and spiritual weakness.
How do you achieve self-control?
Thanks.
Peace.

Priest’s answer

Dear friend,
Two paths must be followed to achieve self-control.

1. The first consists in pursuing victory over oneself, starting from the little things.  From here, as if in concentric circles, self-control ripples out to all aspects of our life.
Such was the case with Saint Francis of Assisi.

2. After one long and mysterious illness that had already quite transformed him, he was riding his horse outside of Assisi.
At some point, he distinctly heard the sound of a bell.  He saw a disfigured being walk towards him. It was a leper, covered in calcified sores that produced an unbearable stench.
Francis felt immediately a sense of repulsion, because he knew that leprosy was a very contagious disease.  But, shortly after, he retraced his steps. For the first time, he managed to overcome his repugnance, he dismounted his horse, approached the leper, and kissed him.
He got back on his horse, turned around to say good-bye to the leper and realized that he had disappeared.
He knew then that the leper was Jesus Christ, descended to earth to receive a kiss from him.  He thus achieved a “victory over himself”, and from then on his soul was inundated with joy.  In his testament Francis wrote: “When I was in sin, it seemed too bitter for me to see lepers. And the Lord Himself led me among them and I showed mercy to them. And when I left them, what had seemed bitter to me was turned into sweetness of soul and body. And afterwards I delayed a little and left the world”. (The Testament 1226 – Franciscan Sources).

3. Try to achieve victory over yourself on every occasion of impure looks by turning your eyes away, and thinking about the presence of God in the person who is in front of you and about the presence of God in you. By scoring little victories one after the other you will feel a growing sense of contentment and interior freedom.  As the Saint Curé d’Ars put it, it is only the first step that costs.
Then winning becomes an acquired taste.
Besides that you will find that you will be the object of many little graces from the Lord.

4. The second path is prayer.
Among the fruits of the Holy Spirit there is one called ”self control”. If you ask for it with fervor through Mary’s mediation you will see that it will be offered to you.  Keep asking for it incessantly while striving on your part to win over yourself. You will see that it will be given to you.

5. This victory however will not be achieved once and for all.
Soon your enemy will try to attack you again to defeat you.
But you will apply again to yourself the technique I mentioned before along with the invocation of the Holy Spirit through Mary.
And this you shall keep doing for all your life, because your enemy will never let go of you.  By doing this you will gradually achieve an ever greater interior freedom, and most importantly, you will keep adding to your treasure of merits for eternal life.As I wish you to proceed from victory to victory, I bless you and I remember you in my prayer.
Father Angelo