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Dear Father Angelo,

Thank you for your work giving testimony and teaching Catholic morality. People like you are fundamental in increasingly promiscuous and sinful times.

My question is about chastity; I am a 20-year-old young man, and what I reckon, both out of my experience and that of many others, is that this matter is the most foundational in the realm of Faith. Lust is not only the most frequent sin and the one about which we show greater weakness; even more seriously, as it appears as an impassable and unsolvable obstacle, it is the greatest hurdle that blocks a religious experience and prevents one from following God, both for those who are already believers (and risk losing Faith) and for those who would like to convert, but don’t have enough strength to overcome such evil.

In our society as it is now, human relationships are materialistic and tend to objectification, where sex is just considered as a way to second one’s instincts; this vision is also strongly supported by both people and media (the social ones especially), both through words and through actions.

So how can a Catholic youth like me live fully and happily in chastity, despite the world we have around us?

What are the effective actions that are to be taken? Who can I rely on? What should I do to free myself from lust and be able to truly love myself and the others?

While I wait for your answer, I’m praying for you, especially so that the Holy Spirit can assist you as you face this matter.

Thank you deeply.

Answer from the priest

Dear Son,

1. first of all, I emphasize how true the two statements you made about impurity or lust are: not only it is the most frequent sin and the one in which greater weakness is shown, but it is also the obstacle or one of the biggest hurdles that block religious experience and prevent one from following God.

2. Regarding the first statement, we should remember that due to original sin man lost that sense of gravitation he had towards God, because of which the lower powers of man (sensitive ones) were subject to the superior ones (spiritual ones) and the superior ones were perfectly subordinate to God.

The balance was therefore perfect.

Due to original sin, the balance was broken and the powers or faculties of man have somehow become autonomous, each one wandering off on its own.

It could be said that, once centripetal force was lost, man found himself faced with many centrifugal forces. Therefore, he is disjointed in himself and in a certain way divided.

3. The redemption accomplished by Christ sanctified the soul through grace. However, man’s proclivity for evil remains.

St. Thomas says that “human nature […] although healed by grace as to the mind, yet it remains corrupted and poisoned in the flesh” (Summa Theologiae, I-II, 109, 9).

And he also says that “while all the parts of the soul are said to be corrupted by original sin […] the infection of original sin regards these three chiefly [as mentioned by St. Augustine], viz. the generative power, the concupiscible faculty and the sense of touch” (De Civitate Dei, XIV, 20) because of their “movements […] which are not subject to reason” and constitute “the most powerful incentive to concupiscence” (Summa Theologiae, I-II, 83, 4).

To acknowledge that, no special reasoning is needed.

Together with St. Thomas, we can say “certum est et sensu constat” (“it is certain and known to the senses”). He uses this expression in the context of the demonstration of the existence of God.

4. Regarding your second statement, St. Thomas says that “because of the sin of lust we see that man most greatly moves away from God” (Comment in Job, lect. 31, beginning).

Many people ask: what should be done to bring young people back to Mass?

Well, believing that the reason that keeps them away from God is only a matter of technique, which is necessary regardless, would be a huge delusion, because almost always what keeps the young and the old away from God is in fact impurity.

Commenting on the beatitude “blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God”, St. Thomas says that “there is nothing that opposes spiritual life as much as the impurity of the flesh”.

5. If you want to see why the impurities of the flesh keep away from God, you must remember that sexuality touches the intimate core of the person (see John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio 11).

Now, when God is marginalized in one’s intimate core, it is inevitable that, as for concentric circles that are constantly expanding, God becomes marginal in all other areas of life.

If one does not immediately put remedy to that, God becomes irrelevant.

6. After these premises, I now come to your questions.

In the first one, you ask how a young Catholic can live fully and happily in chastity, despite the world we have around us.

The answer is the following: the spiritual life must be cultivated, and first of all be nourished by the Word of God.

If our mind is not full of God, there are not enough resources to resist a world that presses us from all around to induct us into a mentality that is not in the least evangelical.

Now, to have the full mind of God it is necessary to listen to his Word and above all the daily commitment to put it into practice.

To put it into practice, after having read it and meditated on it, it is necessary to express an effective resolution, which corresponds more or less to the operatio of the lectio divina.

If there is no effective and detailed resolution, the Word of God is soon forgotten.

Therefore, it is necessary to keep it in our heart to be able to take every opportunity to bring it into the path of our life.

7. What I am saying is of utmost importance and expresses in other words what God said through the apostle James: “Therefore, put away all filth and evil excess and humbly welcome the word that has been planted in you and is able to save your souls.

Be doers of the word and not hearers only, deluding yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his own face in a mirror. He sees himself, then goes off and promptly forgets what he looked like.

But the one who peers into the perfect law of freedom and perseveres, and is not a hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, such a one shall be blessed in what he does” (James 1:21-25).

If there is no such inner life, it is inevitable to be knocked down by the almost continuous blows of temptations.

8. You then ask, what are the effective actions that are to be taken?

In my opinion, there is nothing better than reading the Gospel of the day and meditating on it for a few minutes, wondering why God speaks to us in that way and what he wants to tell us about our daily life.

It is necessary not to come away from the meditation of the text until the reason has been understood and the decision has been taken to put it into practice with a specific commitment.

As you can see, in this way God becomes the light to our steps and without realizing it, we begin to live according to an evangelical way.

What I am proposing is nothing else, in a nutshell, than what is embodied in the so-called lectio divina.

9. In the second question, ask who you can rely on.

Well, we must keep in mind that, with his own forces, man is unable to avoid every single downfall.

St. Augustine was the first to interpret Sap 8:21 “knowing that I could not otherwise possess her except God gave it” in favor of purity, while the holy author was talking about wisdom.

The Latin text uses the term “continens”, which means containing.

But St. Augustine takes the word in itself, detaches it from the context, applies it to purity and says: “I was so foolish as not to known what was written: that no one can be chaste (continent), except you give it” (Confessions, VI, 11).

In De Continentia he writes: “On this important topic I will say what he inspires me, and I begin first of all by stating and proving that continence is a gift from God. In fact, the book of Wisdom we find it written that, if God does not give it, no one can be continent” (De Continentia, I, 1).

The interpretation of St. Augustine is not out of place, because it is in Sir 51:20 that we read: “For [wisdom] I purified my hands; in cleanness I attained to her”.

This intimate link between wisdom and purity is also manifest in the prayer of Sirach: “Let not the lustful cravings of the flesh master me, surrender me not to shameless desires” (Sir 23:6).

10. In particular, the Lord wants us to rely on Our Lady who, according to the interpretation of the Church, God himself defines as “the mother of beautiful love” (Sir 24:18).

A document of the ecclesiastical magisterium “Educational guidelines on human love, outlines of sex education” says: “The Virgin Mary is an eminent example of Christian life.

The Church, by centuries-old experience, is convinced that the faithful, especially the young people devoted to her, have been able to achieve this ideal” (OE 47).

Effectively relying on Mary means being with her and enjoying her company. This takes place in a special way during the prayer of the Holy Rosary.

There a great secret is hidden, because it is necessary to know that the purity of Our Lady is transfusive, that is to say contagious. It is infused into our soul. Being together with her is the same thing as allowing her to sacredly infect us with her purity.

11. Finally, you ask what you have to do to get rid of lust and be able to truly love yourself and others.

Well, in addition to having the aim of guarding the Word of God and taking every opportunity to put it into practice, and in addition to asking God and the Blessed Virgin Mary to bestow the gift of purity, you must equip yourself with inner discipline.

Before Sodom was destroyed, an angel had said to Lot: “Flee for your life! Don’t look back or stop anywhere on the Plain. Get off to the hills at once, or you will be swept away” (Gn 19:17).

St. Thomas, from this statement of the Holy Scripture, concludes that it is necessary not to linger on treacherous terrain and to resolutely walk further on, so that one does not happen to stop and turn back to look, thus getting stuck as it happened to Lot’s wife.

An especially treacherous terrain today is that of the Internet, which at all times steps in by soliciting to stop and look at. It is necessary to resolutely walk further on.

This ultimately means that in order to preserve purity it is necessary to be resolute. Indeed, it is necessary to be disciplined in one’s senses and in one’s will.

12. To guard purity with greater strength, it is of great benefit to keep in mind the reward that the Lord promises to those who overcome temptations.

St. Thomas derives it from the evangelical text that speaks of the temptation of Jesus in the desert. After overcoming the triple temptation, “then the devil left him and, behold, angels came and ministered to him” (Mt 4:11).

Hence the comment of St. Thomas: “With that it is meant that men, when they defeat the devil, deserve to be served by angels”.

This reward is twofold: on the one hand we enjoy the removal of the devil who for some time ceases to tail us and on the other hand we are served by angels.

What is more beautiful than letting us be served by angels in all our needs, both spiritual and material?

I wish you with all my heart to be able to constantly take advantage of such service.

I thank you for the special prayer that you promised me and that I gladly reciprocate.

I bless you.

Father Angelo