Questo articolo è disponibile anche in: Italian English Spanish

Dear Father Angelo
I hope you will remember me, it has been a while since I last wrote to you…
My name is V. T., from the province of Cuneo, you officiated my enrollment in the brotherhood of the Holy Rosary, on the feast day of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, in 2020.
I am writing to you to ask for your opinion.
I know that the baptism of a boy or girl can also be carried out by a lay person, I even know that in extreme cases it can also be given by a non-baptised person, as long as there is the will to baptize according to the intentions of the Church and in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Regarding a one year old girl, my niece… I know that the father would baptize her but he is not so fervent as to ask and commit himself to ensuring that the child receives Holy Baptism. The mother, although saying she agreed to ask for Baptism for her daughter, in reality seems not to really want it. This lady has other children, and she maintains they are all baptised. And yet recently she has been quite obstructive whenever it comes to any occasion for her children to meet Jesus (she has one son and 7 daughters amongst which the little girl I am talking to you about).
The little girl could have been baptized together with our baby, in June 2022; first they said yes, then the mother opposed it, citing reasons such as that she wanted to invite more people, she wanted to have the party outside, etc. etc. She said that they would baptize the little girl in autumn 2022 but instead they didn’t. The impression is that for some reason unknown to us, she does not want to baptize that little girl.

The question I have is this: if we (uncle and aunt) worried for her soul and therefore eager for her to receive Grace, baptised her (as lay people, doing it quickly, without any frills, without a priest unless God would grant us to have one around whenever the occasion would arise), without her parents knowing and then the parents not knowing she has already been baptised should decide to finally have her baptised, would it be a problem given that you can only receive one Baptism?

I sincerely ask you to give us an answer, even if the environment in which the little girl will live is far from God, we are convinced that this seed could bear great fruit, as the presence of the Spirit in her would give her the ability to discern.

I thank you in advance, I assure you of our prayers, and I wish you a good and holy Sunday.


With love,
V. T.

Priest’s Answer

Dearly beloved,
1.Your wish is good.
But the goodness of a desire is not sufficient to make a certain action good.

2. In fact, the little girl cannot be baptized without her parents’ knowledge or against their will.
Saint Thomas’ judgement is quite clear: “If, however, they have not yet the use of free-will, according to the natural law they are under the care of their parents as long as they cannot look after themselves… 
Wherefore it would be contrary to natural justice if such children were baptized against their parents’ will; just as it would be if one having the use of reason were baptized against his will.” (Summa theologica, III, 68, 10).

3. Of course, the baptism would be valid, but it would be illicit.
Which means you would be committing a grave sin.
Even if you found a priest willing to do it, the priest would make a mistake and would be committing a serious sin.

4. This sin would be made even worse if the child was subsequently taken to the baptismal font by her parents because they would expose her to an invalid baptism, as this sacrament could not be repeated. The ritual celebrated would be a sacrilege, for which parents would not be responsible because they were unaware. But you would be responsible because with your behaviour you would have exposed the parents to profaning the sacrament, making its celebration invalid.

5. Only in case of life-threatening danger, which is obviously not to be hoped for, could you baptise the child even against the parents’ wishes.
The Code of Canon Law provides for this: “An infant of Catholic parents or even of non-Catholic parents is baptised licitly in danger of death even against the will of the parents.” (Can. 868,2).
In this case, the child’s right to eternal life prevails.

6. In conclusion, what can you do?
You are left with a particularly demanding task, indeed much more demanding than that of a secret baptism.
You must pray and offer sacrifices to God and Our Lady for the good of this little girl, for her physical and supernatural health.
At the same time you must also offer them for her parents, whose faith has unfortunately become like salt that has lost its flavour, as the Gospel of two Sundays ago spoke about it.

7. In concrete terms, I suggest that you also commit yourselves in a collegial manner to reciting the Holy Rosary daily for this little girl and her parents.

Since you belong to the brotherhood of the Most Holy Rosary, you know that your prayer is further charged with the merit of the prayers and sacrifices of all the members of the Dominican family.

I bless you, I wish you all the best and I remember you in prayer.
Father Angelo