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Dear Father,

I thank you first of all for your kindness and goodness of heart in answering the questions we send you.

I am writing to ask you some questions concerning prayers for the dead.

I have a weekly habit of visiting the cemetery and spending a few minutes in prayer for the deceased.

The first question is, why is there the “Glory be” prayer written on the graves of deceased children?

As if children’s souls don’t need the “Eternal Rest” prayer but a “Glory Be” to God? Does it mean God should be glorified because a child died? I don’t understand.

The second question concerns the prayer to the deceased. As I wrote above, I sometimes recite about ten Hail Marys before falling asleep with the purpose of shortening the duration of penance of the people in Purgatory.

I wonder why the already holy souls in purgatory (because they are destined for heaven) need the prayers of the living, who are sinners and who might even be damned at the end of our lives!

I find myself a bit uncomfortable praying because I feel more ‘dirty’ than the souls I pray for, souls who by the way we do not know or who by a strange twist of fate we knew in life but on bad terms (and who we now find ourselves praying for, perhaps without knowing it).

Can you help me clarify these doubts?

Thank you and happy new year!

Priest’s answer

Dearest,

1. baptized children who died before the use of reason are holy because they enjoy sanctifying grace.

Moreover, as they are incapable of deliberation, they have no sins, not even venial ones.

This is why the Church honors them as saints: It celebrates their funeral with white vestments as a sign of immaculacy and not with purple vestments that are a symbol of penance.

For baptized children who died before the use of reason, therefore, the “eternal rest” prayer is not recited in suffrage, because they have already entered God’s rest permanently (cf. Heb. 4:1).

But they are prayed to as the saints are prayed to, begging them to pray for us.

We honor the saints by adoring and thanking the Most Holy Trinity because He has given them to us. And for this we say “Glory be to the Father….”

2. You do well by visiting the cemetery weekly. Praying for the departed adds to the merit of your pilgrimage.

The souls in purgatory who ascend to heaven because of our suffrages are very grateful.

Because of this, I am sure, you return home from the cemetery with the knowledge that you have done a good deed and with a vivid sense of consolation. I would even say that you go back home with a blessing!

3. It is true: the souls in purgatory are holy and are certain of their eternal salvation, while we continue to stain ourselves and are not certain of going to heaven.

However, it is in our power to do what they cannot do: that is, we can merit.

4. It is true that we may also end up having damned ourselves, even though we have helped the souls in purgatory to ascend to heaven.

We trust, however, that these holy souls will do everything they can so that we will not be damned at the end.

5. I like to report the five reasons why, according to St. Thomas, the suffrage for the Deceased is one of the most precious and beautiful signs of Christian charity:

1. Because by it an act of spiritual, and not simply material, charity is accomplished. Indeed, precisely because it is a spiritual good, it procures a good that lasts eternally.

2. Because the charity that is accomplished toward the souls of purgatory is a charity accomplished always toward righteous and holy souls, whereas this cannot always be said of charity accomplished towards the poor.

3. Because the souls in purgatory suffer immensely more than the afflicted of this world, although at the same time they already have the joy of the foretaste and certainty of heaven.

4. Because they cannot help themselves in any way.

5. Finally, because they are most grateful.

Therefore continue with these good habits, because you will certainly be accompanied by many blessings.

I wish you well, I bless you and I remember you in prayer.

Father Angelo