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Question

Dear Father Angelo,

first of all, thanks for the time you are dedicating to us. I often find inspiration and guidance in your answers to others’ questions. Thank you again.

I have a tormenting thought.

I know, I’ve already been told ‘you should have thought of that before’, but I love this man, my husband.

He is not baptized and therefore we asked and obtained the dispensation for our marriage. We got married in the Church and therefore our marriage (for me at least) is a sacrament.

I know that, God willing, one day I will see my grandparents again, and I will meet my loved ones, all around the table prepared by Jesus for us.

When the time comes, there will be an endless celebration, there will be no goodbye, and we will forever celebrate in Jesus’ love.

My torment is this: hasn’t my husband, who is not baptized, got an  immortal soul? Or will he suffer in limbo forever? Will I not see him again after his death, will I?

I have read (but I certainly misunderstood) a letter from St. Paul where he says that the love of one spouse will save the other spouse. Does it mean that by virtue of my faith, God willing, my husband too will be able to see His face after his own death? (And if alone, I think that I cannot deserve my salvation so, how could I conceitedly think of having any power in this field?)

When we met, my husband immediately learned of my deep faith, of my love for Jesus and for the teachings of the Church. If we have children (till now none has  arrived in two years) my husband wants us to baptize them and raise them with the teachings of the Church. Every Sunday, on my return from Mass, he asks me to tell him about the day’s Gospel reading. And he is the one telling me: ‘Tomorrow is Sunday, you have to go to Mass’.

I follow the advice of my priest who married us: I don’t try to ‘evangelize’ my spouse in a forced way for instance; but only with my example, just the little I can do. So, I try to live according to the teachings of Jesus, who is the only one able to enter my husband’s heart and unbind it.

My husband grew up in a non-believing family. Excellent people, but without faith. Before meeting me, he also had a baby girl with a woman he wasn’t married to. Then, the little girl died of a bad disease during her first year. I know that pain hardened his heart even more.

Dear Father Angelo, please tell me a word that might even slightly alleviate  the anguish I feel.

Am I doing something I shouldn’t? Should I do something else?

Thank you so much

Elena

The answer of the priest

Dear Elena,

1. First of all, I am pleased that your husband is very attentive to you and to your faith.

He is happy that you are a believer, that you go to Mass, and he is happy to listen to your experience of faith. All that is very beautiful.

I am not Jesus but perhaps if, instead of me, Jesus spoke to you He would say of your husband that he is “not far from the Kingdom of God”.

2. Continue like you are doing now.

Your arguments would never give him faith.

Faith is a gift by the Lord, Who certainly uses arguments but, above all, He uses the testimony of our living.

The verse of Saint Paul, which you refer, comes from the first letter to the Corinthians 7:14: “For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife”; it means he is predisposed to conversion by the good examples of the believing wife.

3. About the future life, there will be no limbo.

People will go to heaven (after purgatory if necessary) if they are in a state of grace when they die.

If they have no grace they will go to hell.

4. We know that God wants all men saved and He can give His grace even without sacraments.

Our future condition will depend just on that, and not on the mere fact of being baptized. In fact, there may be baptized people who end up in hell and there may be non-baptized people who go to Heaven.

For your husband’s eternal fate, everything will depend on this: if he is in a state of grace, as I hope.

5.  I trust in the fact that , by the virtue of your prayers, your sacrifices, the testimony of your life and of the children who will arrive,  your husband will be saved, not only by virtue of that grace, but also by virtue of the sacraments, as a consequence of the faith he will accept by the hands of God Who is greatly generous.

And so, you will be able to meet in Heaven.

I assure you my prayers and my blessing.

Father Angelo