I wanted to ask you a question about how to learn more about Our Lady and grow in my relationship with her.

Dear Father Angelo,

I wanted to ask you a question about how to learn more about Our Lady and grow in my relationship with her. I am asking you this because much of her is linked to my need to love God and my brothers and sisters… both in the fact that I want to love her deeply in the same way, and in the knowledge that her help is indispensable to me! Many saints say that the shortest path to holiness is through Mary!

I have always had a special bond with our heavenly Mother. In many difficult situations in which I asked for her help, she intervened and resolved them (Our Lady helps with deeds, not words). I don’t know why, but I am often moved by many Marian hymns, and the Magnificat has always touched me deeply!

Another time she helped me in a rather unusual way. When I was with my girlfriend, things didn’t always go smoothly on the purity front. But I will always remember that time when, after a fall of this kind, as I entered the church, I felt as if this relationship I had built with Mary had been broken, and it was a shock to me.

At the time, I did go to confession, but this event made me understand certain things more clearly. The sacrament cost me a lot because I was ashamed, but all in all, I saw that shame as a small gesture of love that I could make to Jesus… confession is powerful in this regard.

It is easy for selfishness to creep into relationships, especially during moments of intimacy involving physical contact. The risk is that we use each other and pass off the pursuit of personal pleasure as an expression of love. However, it is not easy to recognize this because, deep down, it is difficult to admit to ourselves.

However, I clearly remember that after a confession, this selfishness was torn from me, making my love for my girlfriend much more beautiful and pure. More free! Years later, I recognize that it was the gestures of selfless love between us that I remember most, that have remained. Those that may be costly, but that truly demonstrate love…

However, could it be that Mary, out of love, no longer allowed me to feel her presence, to make me understand that I had done wrong?

But I return to my central question. Now I would like to grow more in this relationship with Our Lady and correspond more and more in turn. The problem is that little is said about Mary in the Gospels; she is an almost hidden figure.

So I tried reading several books, by René Laurentin (“A Short Treatise on the Virgin Mary”), as well as Montfort’s treatise on true devotion to the Blessed Virgin (very beautiful!). The advice I found in Montfort’s treatise is very close to what I am looking for, but I wanted to ask you for advice too… so, how can I grow in this relationship and love Mary more?

Thank you so much!! Have a wonderful day, and I will remember you in my prayers!

Response from the priest

Dearest,

1. From the cross, Christ entrusted Our Lady to us, saying: “Son, behold your Mother.”

And to Our Lady he said, “Woman, behold your son.”

From the moment we are baptized, with the infusion of grace and charity, an attraction and devotion to Our Lady is also infused into our hearts.

2. Something great emerges from Christ’s sparse words.

We are called to entrust ourselves completely to Our Lady.

It would be enough to begin to do so, to commend ourselves to her intercession and help.

Once we experience this firsthand, we will find ourselves loving Our Lady more and more.

3. But there is a technique, so to speak, that greatly helps our devotion to Our Lady: doing something for her, patiently enduring something for her without complaining, offering certain efforts to her.

We then discover that this technique greatly helps in sanctification and at the same time we experience how generous Our Lady is in reciprocating.

Not that Our Lady needs our actions to reciprocate.

But our acts of love open the door that allows us to experience Mary’s tenderness towards us.

4. I could say that in order to increase our devotion to Our Lady, it is necessary to use the same techniques suggested by St. Thomas to increase our love for the Lord.

These are the techniques I mentioned in my previous answer, which can be summarized as detaching the heart from earthly things and patiently enduring adversity.

5. Affection for Our Lady must also be sought through persistent prayer.

Above all, through prayer that asks God for the ability to love Our Lady through our actions.

In this regard, I would like to refer to experiences related to the Dominicans.

6. At the end of the Salve Regina, with which they conclude their day as a community, the Dominicans express themselves with this verse: “Dignare me laudare te, Virgo sacrata.” This means: “Deign, Virgin consecrated to God, to give me the opportunity to praise you, that is, to love you.”

Therefore, you too should often repeat to Mary: “Dignare me laudare te, Virgo sacrata.”

7. Regarding the feeling you had of no longer sensing a particular presence of Our Lady after an experience with your girlfriend that was not entirely pure, I can tell you this.

In the Lives of the Dominican Friars (Vitae fratrum) from the early decades of the Order, we read that St. Dominic saw Our Lady passing through the dormitory and blessing all the friars who had gone to sleep. However, he saw that one was not blessed.

He asked Our Lady why, and she replied that it was because he lacked modesty in the way he lay in bed.

Perhaps this episode can tell you something.

I would like to point out that the Virgin Mary can behave as she wishes and make her presence felt even to the greatest sinners. And she has often done so.

But with some people, in this case with the Dominican, she behaved in this way.

And so she can behave in the same way with others, whom she may ask to climb higher.

8. I would like to say one last thing about the affection and devotion to Our Lady that are infused from heaven.

Blessed Hyacinth Cormier, Master of the Dominican Order between 1904 and 1916, said that for Dominicans, devotion to Our Lady is a grace of state.

This means that just as in baptism every Christian receives an attraction and devotion to Our Lady, so too those who become Dominicans are given a new attraction to Our Lady.

I believe that the foundation of this special and new devotion to Mary enjoyed by Dominicans is this: Dominicans need Mary’s presence and action in their preaching.

Dominican preaching touches the ears and minds of listeners.

But above all, there is a need for the intervention of the One who was established by Jesus Christ as Mother in the generation of grace and conversion.

9. I believe that what happens for Dominicans can also happen for anyone else who dedicates themselves to the works of the apostolate, preaching, and conversion.

I thank you for drawing me into the realm of devotion to Mary.

I remember you in my prayers and bless you.

Father Angelo

Questo articolo è disponibile anche in: